WHAT'S IN A DAME: It's not laziness, it's germ warfare!

— Germs. Germs. Germs.

We can't get away from them in the news these days, with reports of MRSA (methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus) outbreaks in schools across the country.

And we can't get away from germs anywhere else. This according to Health magazine, which recently published an article (see www.health.com), "The Germiest Places in America," about a dozen dirty objects/ areas we often encounter.

So what are these 12 things? And what can we do about them? Here is Health's list and some facts with our own helpful hints following each one.

1. The kitchen sink: "There are typically more than 500,000 bacteria per square inch in the drain ... That sponge you use to clean the counter? Crawling with bacteria, as are the sink's basin and faucet handles."

Helpful hint: Go out to eat. Doing dishes can be dangerous to your health.

2. Airplane bathrooms: "The volcanic flush of the commode tends to spew particles into the air, coating the floor and walls

" ...

Helpful hint: Tall lattes at the airport. Never venti.

3. A load of wet laundry: One funky undergarment can contaminate other laundry and the washing machine.

Helpful hint: Britney Spears doesn't have this problem.

4. Public drinking fountains: There is not only something in the water, there are lots of somethings on the spigots, Health says.

Helpful hint: BYOW. Wine, according to a recent study, has an antibacterial effect, killing germs that cause things like sore throats. You're not drinking on the job. You're engaging in preventive care so as to avoid taking unnecessary sick time.

5. Shopping-cart handles: "Carts rank high on the yuck scale because they're handled by dozens of people every day ..."

Helpful hint: See, shopping all day on QVC really is responsible behavior!

6. Your handbag: Now regular readers will remember we already wrote about a purse study that showed how filthy they are. "Most had tens of thousands of bacteria on the bottom and a few were overrun with millions."

Helpful hint: We offer thesame advice we did then. Buy new bags. Often.

7. ATM buttons: "Those buttons have more gunk on them than most public-bathroom doorknobs."

Helpful hint: So, therefore, ATM money must be really nasty. Better get new wallets for your new handbags.

8. Playgrounds: We're not listing the vile inventory of ick found on the monkey bars, etc. because it just doesn't pass the breakfast test.

Helpful hint: Encourage your children to find fun in rewardingat-home activities. Like vacuuming, mopping and dusting.

9. Mats and machines at health clubs: "At high schools, antibiotic-resistant staph infections have been transmitted through wrestling mats. The same thing could happen at health clubs," says one expert.

Helpful hint: Fritos and Judge Judy instead.

10. Your bathtub: "Tubs typically had more than 100,000 bacteria per square inch!"

Helpful hint: "Hello, cleaning service?"

11. Your office phone: They "often have more than 25,000 germs per square inch, and your desk, computer keyboard, and mouse aren't far behind."

Helpful hint: Never take business calls. Never complete tasks. Never return e-mails. When colleagues and clients complain, explain that you have been busy waging war against infectious disease.

12. The hotel remote: "What's the first thing you do when you settle in at a hotel? You grab the remote control and switch on the TV - you, and the hundreds of other guests who've stayed there."

Helpful hint: Actually use the provided soap at the hotel instead of stealing it for home.

In a lather? E-mail:

jchristman@arkansasonline.com

What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood.

Style, Pages 27, 29 on 10/30/2007

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