Boy meets girl

LITTLE ROCK — In a room packed with 13 almost-naked men and just as many assistants who soon start to help them dress, a brief conversation between two is interrupted when one gets a bump in the back as another tries to squeeze between a rack of elaborate evening gowns and a table full of Styrofoam heads bearing highly stylized wigs.

"Your big titties are always getting in the way!" comes the complaint from the interrupted conversationalist, in a tone that could only be called friendly.

It is roughly two hours before the curtain goes up on the final night of the 38th annual Miss Gay Arkansas-America pageant, held at Discovery in Little Rock Aug. 15-16. The men competing - for men they still are, for now - are all at this point mostly bare-chested (except the faux-breasted bumper above). One contestant, clad in a flowing, shimmering robe-like concoction of black and silver, with face already done up and hair capped by pantyhose, drifts by and the robe parts to reveal a simple pair of red gym shorts underneath. Those soon come off and are replaced by more hose - a necessary part of creating the female illusion. How all the makeup stays on the already painted faces despite the stifling heat in the backstage dressing room, I still don't know. The only answer I get from asking around: "I don't sweat."

At least this room is a few degrees cooler than the cavernous, sweltering space between it and the second (much cooler) dressing room immediately behind the stage where a host of former Miss Gay Arkansas winners are preparing to provide the night's entertainment, along with special guest Miss Gay America Victoria DePaula.

In the contestants' room nerves abound, for this is the big one. Though other pageant systems have made their way into the state over the years, this is Miss Gay Arkansas, which will send the winner and runner up to Miss Gay America 2010 in St. Louis. It's the oldest gay pageant system in the country and has deep roots here in the Natural State. It's the one to win.

"Most of us end up competing about six times before we win. That ends up being about average," said Miss Gay Arkansas 2008 Stephanie Richards in an interview prior to the competition. "There's so much that goes into it and any little thing can take you out of it."

Very soon now, seven of the 13 contestants will, in fact, be out of it. On the final night, all of the competitors come out for presentation at the beginning of the pageant, but immediately the top six are chosen, and only these six continue. All were judged the prior evening on gowns and solo talent, as well as a male interview conducted Saturday afternoon. Sunday night, the top six compete again in evening gowns, answer a question on stage, and must present a more elaborate "long talent," which may involve props and backup dancers.

To put together the whole package (their phrasing, not mine) takes a lot of time.

"You could pull something together overnight, but it will not look cute," explains Diedra Windsor Walker, first alternate to Miss Gay Hot Springs Mya Alexander. "The good queens are the ones who prepare and prepare and prepare."

For Walker, it was about six months of getting ready. For another contestant, Makayla Blake, it was about a year and a half prepping for this pageant year. This is her third time in Miss Gay Arkansas-America.

"It's an opportunity to be someone other than yourself and excel at it - and I guess that's the draw of drag," says Blake. "Pageants are as much a part of it as shows and other things are."

Neither Blake nor Walker end up in the top six.

But an hour and a half before that announcement is made, the talk backstage turns to dresses as a chorus of "I'll Fly Away" and then "When the Saints Go Marching In" floats around the room. The dresses are mostly custom made and/or tailored creations from designers out of state - in Las Vegas, Dallas or Houston. Buying off the rack, particularly in Little Rock, isn't going to win, I'm told, though it would have at one time. Then again, there are those who remember when they couldn't shop local for a gown because, as drag queens, their business was flatly refused. Whether because of tolerance or greed, times have changed.

From gowns the talk drifts to jewelry, and then to jewelry on gowns. Measured in a gross of 144 stones, with each gross costing between $30 and $50 each, Miss Gay Little Rock Sasha Harrison has 30 gross on her gown. Mya Alexander has 40, and Miss Gay Spa City Zia D'Yor, who's "stoned like Jerry Garcia" has a whopping 87 gross - or more than 12,000 stones - glittering for her. Even before decoration, an average gown might cost $3,000.

"So you're looking at a combined value for all the contestants of somewhere around $80,000," said former Miss Gay Arkansas Raven St. James, who noted, for that reason, there's no smoking or drinking in the dressing room. The risk of accident - and even sabotage - is too high.

But amongst the contestants, there seems to be nothing but mutual respect: "There's not a person in this room that I would not be proud of and would not want to see as Miss Arkansas," said Walker. "I am walking amongst giants."

That is, unless well wishes go a bit overboard: "If you hold my hand and start singing Kumbaya, I'm going to OD," said one to the encouragement of others.

When show time comes, time seems to speed up. Presentation, elimination and the final six must hurry backstage to get into the evening gown competition dresses - the first of three changes for the evening.

"Do you want the titties in first?" asks one assistant.

"Sit down. You're all right. We have a little bit of time," soothes another.

"Don't you move or I'm going to chop this bang off," chides yet another.

Those eliminated must clear out their things from the dressing room, but not before they've offered their "good luck, girls" on the way out.

With new wigs on and seams sewn shut ("Otherwise, it looks like it's ripped"), it's time for round two. And it's not easy.

"Bitch, I'll tell you right now, if I were to breathe out, there would be so many beads on this floor we would never get them all up!" groans one competitor as she heads for the stage.

One by one the gowns are shown and questions answered, but the slow grace of the stage has no place in the dressing room. Already it's time to start preparing for talents. For Mya Alexander, it's a transformation into Bette Midler. For Sasha Harrison, green covers her face as she prepares for a scene from Wicked: The Untold Story of the Witches of Oz. She's the one from the West, and this explains the actors dressed as flying monkeys backstage.

When the haze of hairspray clears and the contestants are once again in their original gowns (but not always the same wig), it's time for the passing of the crown, a process that involves all the formers coming out one by one, finally leaving Richards to put the tiara on the newly chosen Miss Gay Arkansas 2009. It goes to Christina Saxton, winner of the Miss Gay UBU pageant, whose name is lost to a chorus of cheers when her contestant number is announced as the winner. It was lucky No. 7.

Backstage, the mood is subdued. It's now after 2 a.m. and it's been a long night. Props are being disassembled and trucks and cars loaded as contestants and their helpers head out. There are the "I knew its" and a "well, there's one more we don't have to worry about next year." A few "good jobs" and a few "you did greats." The encouragement from one organizer: "You can all drink at the preliminaries for America now."

When Saxton comes off stage after the post-pageant photos, she's greeted to a round of applause and congratulations - the loudest among them being the now former Miss Gay Arkansas Stephanie Richards.

"This is the happiest day of my life right now," says Saxton.

With all the hubbub, she says she might need some time to think and really go over it, but off the top of her head, she reckons this to be the 17th year she's competed in this pageant. To others, she offers gracious encouragement, already stepping into her role as "a symbol of excellence," as the pageant motto goes.

"It won't take anyone as long as it took me, but it certainly won't take you nearly that long," she says to an aspiring queen. "You've just got to be persistent. You've just got to keep coming and it will pay off."