LITTLE ROCK — DEAR REV. GRAHAM: How can we forgive someone who's hurt us when they won't admit they've done anything wrong, let alone ask for ourforgiveness? I'm facing this situation right now with someone in my family, and I don't know what to do.
- K.F.D.
DEAR K.F.D.: It's easier, of course, to forgive someone who knows they've hurt us and are asking us to forgive them. But life isn't always that easy, and sometimes the whole burden rests on our shoulders.
But that doesn't mean we don't need to forgive them. After all, when someone hurts us we begin carrying a burden, and we need to get rid of it. Imagine it as a heavy basket you carry on your shoulders - a basket filled with all kinds of emotions that weigh you down: anger, hurt, jealousy, a desire for revenge, guilt, bitterness, broken relationships, and so forth.
What will you do with it? You have only two choices:either keep carrying it, or else get rid of it. But what good does it do to keep carrying it? Every object in that basket hurts mainly you, and in fact in time they can destroy you.
So what is the best thing to do? The Bible is clear: "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice" (Ephesians 4:31).
This only happens as you forgive - whether the other person receives it or not. And this becomes possible as we realize how much God has forgiven us. We don't deserve to be forgiven - but Christ was still willing to give His life for us. The Bible says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32).
Write to Billy Graham in care of Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C. 28201 or visit the Web site at
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