LITTLE ROCK — Weird things happen when you get older.
Like you forget how old you are.
Today is my birthday (woo-hoo) and I've been telling people for weeks that I'm going to be 47.
Imagine my surprise when my mother, who was actually there for my birth, told me I was only 46.
I jumped up and down and yelled, "I'm only 46! I'm young! I'm young!"
It was like gaining a year of my life. My husband overheard me telling someone I was going to be 47, but he didn't want to embarrass me by correcting me.
When you get older, people like to buy cards to point out that you're aging.
We had my birthday celebration at my parents' house last weekend, and we're a big card family. We'll go to 20 different stores to find the perfect card. It's almost like a competition.
My brother gave me a card with a politician on the front that said: "We need to remember, there is NOTHING more important than HOPE! HOPE you can blow out your candles; HOPE you can read the small print on your cards; HOPE you can stay awake for the whole party."
Ironically, I opened a card from my mother, which I put aside to read later, because I did not have my reading glasses with me.
That's another weird thing about getting older. You turn into your mother as surely as Brett Favre will retire. And unretire. And ... well, it's inevitable.
I've started patting the top of my head in a familiar gesture - one I've seen my mother do a hundred times - looking for her reading glasses.
That's not to say your mother will treat you like an adult. It really doesn't matter how old you are, your mother is still your mother. She will tell you without hesitation that the shoes you have on are the ugliest things she's ever seen, or notice you're "getting a little muffin top there."
She also will carry your picture with her to proudly show her friends, and when you go shopping with her, she will insist on buying you things, just like she did when you were growing up, and you'll let her.
My mother gave me a monkey card (because no birthday is complete in our family without a monkey card), that said: "Aging is mostly in your head ... and partly in your butt."
Then she apologized for giving me "bad genes."
Speaking of which, it's weird to see what is happening to your body.
The biggest shock is to see someone and think, "Gosh, she looks old," and realize she's your age. Or younger.
My husband and I play the, "Do I look that old?" game.
My hormone surges could cause blackouts in most major cities.
I promised I wouldn't do it, but I've started saying things like, "I've got shoes older than her" and "This isn't my first rodeo."
Also weird, but in a good way, is how much more confident I'm getting. Realizing that worrying about something won't change it. That let go, let God is more than a good bumper sticker. And that I've got a lot more to learn and a lot more to give, and hopefully, there's time.
After all, I'm only 46.
Three Rivers, Pages 117, 120 on 08/30/2009