that’s life Holiday perfection on wish list

TRI-LAKES AREA — You’d think I’d learn after all these years.

I still want the holidays to be perfect and everyone to cooperate, get along, be in a good mood.

Fat chance.

It starts with my idea of the perfect Christmas card photo. My boys are 20 and 16, so I’ve had a lot of experience trying to dress, cajole, bribe and threaten my boys to get a good photo.

I’m always envious when I get cards from friends with their kids looking like models, posing on the beach or in front of the perfect tree.

When my boys were little, it was an effort trying to keep their attention and not have them choke each other.

I’d take 50 pictures to get one good one.

I thought it’d get easier, but it hasn’t.

Last weekend, I decided with the gorgeous weather it would be a perfect time to get the boys together for a photo.

I had it color-coordinated in my mind, red and black, and I even bought the dog a new sweater. The cat has a Santa hat. I bought Christmas cards that had the cut-out for a photo, black with silver stars.

For a brief moment, I considered all four of us being in the photo, but my husband questioned that. Then who would take the photo? Figuring out the self-timer would be a nightmare, I was sure.

I agreed I’d just take a picture of the boys.

My older son started balking.

“I don’t even live here anymore,” he said.

“You’re still part of the family,” I said.

“All my clothes are at the apartment,” he said.

I told him I had a black shirt I’d bought for him that would be perfect.

“Where would we take it?

There’s not even anythingdecorated for Christmas,” he said.

I told him I’ d t hrow a wreath on the front door.

He continued to lay on the couch and watch football.

My younger son had a guitar lesson and had to leave before I could force the situation.

“OK, we can do it later,” I said, cheerfully.

I also had envisioned us putting together the Operation Christmas Child boxesas a family. Holding hands, walking down the aisles of the store, picking out presents for needy children in another country.

I told my older s on I thought I would buy for 10-to 14-year-old boys and that I’d get UCA Bears T-shirts in a large.

“A large for a 10-year-old?” he said.

I didn’t get any other suggestions from either of my boys.

So I tried to guilt them into it.

“Well, I guess I’ll just do it myself. I was hoping we could do this as a family.”

It didn’t work.

I’ll fill those shoe boxes myself and have a good time doing it. I like having my picture made, and I have a cute red sweater. I can hold the dog in one arm and the cat in the other.

You know, I think I might finally have this perfect holiday thing figured out.

Tri-Lakes, Pages 139 on 11/22/2009

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