LITTLE ROCK — As with every other channel in the lineup, Syfy’s programming varies in quality. When it’s good, it’s very, very good. When it’s bad, well, it’s still fun to watch.
To be honest, having the cheap and cheesy stuff on the air makes us appreciate the good stuff all the more.
Syfy’s roster of outstanding dramas includes Eureka, Warehouse 13 and Caprica. Until it recently finished its four-year run, Battlestar Galactica was the best drama on TV. OK, one of the better ones.
Now we have its prequel Caprica (8 p.m. Friday) carrying on the Battlestar franchise.
Science-fiction fans are looking forward to Haven. The 13-episode supernatural summer series is based on Stephen King’s 2005 novella The Colorado Kid.
And, of course, Syfy is home to several reality shows with supernatural themes, including Ghost Hunters and Destination Truth.
Destination Truth features host Josh Gates traipsing around the world investigating mysteries and legends. For example, when the series returns March 17, Gates will be in Ireland searching forleprechauns.
The clever and witty Gates will kill an entire hour with that silliness. Just think of it as some sort of travelogue show and enjoy the scenery.
Gates’ other destinations in the six-episode season are Jordan, Israel, China, New Zealand and Chile.
Syfy recently announced that it has acquired the rights to the first 26 episodes of the BBC series Merlin. The drama, about the young magician before he became the stuff of legend, joins the Syfy lineup in April.
We’ll forget for now that for some reason ECW wrestling also aired on Syfy and skip ahead to the marvelously cheesy Syfy Saturday Original Movies.
Oh, yes. They are cheesy. They’re cheap and tawdry and have a huge cast of maybe six actors (village scenes with extras might include 10 or 15 folks and a cow) and feature a lot of hokey special effects.
Some of the titles that have graced the Syfy screen are Alien Apocalypse (not to be confused with Android Apocalypse); Alien Siege; Anacondas: Trail of Blood; Attack of the Sabretooth; Ba’al: The Storm God; Bats: Human Harvest; Beyond Loch Ness; Black Swarm; Bloodsuckers, and Book of Beasts.
Rejoice, cheese lovers, Syfy has unveiled a whole gaggle of new Saturday night original movies. The flicks, based on “re-imagined classic fairy tales, legends and pop culture characters,” debut at 8 p.m. Saturday.
Beauty and the Beast features Estella Warren as the obligatory hot chick running around in the forest in miniskirt and leather bustier. As if it was necessary, Syfy warns us that this “is not the traditional Disney fairy tale.”
Indeed, the producers seem quite fixated on the special effect of blood spurting from severed limbs and heads. We get that a halfdozen times.
Warren stars as a virtuous young blond beauty with a gift for healing who helps a hideously and magically deformed prince (Rhett Gilles) get his rightful throne back from the evil and ruthless count who would be king.
There’s also a power hungry witch and a leaping, head-chomping troll. It goes on.
Guys, it’s worth the price of admission just to watch the fetching Warren gambol about.
Mark your calendars. Down the road, the plans include:
Red. A young descendant of Little Red Riding Hood brings her fiance home to meet her werewolf-hunting family. He’s skeptical until bitten by a werewolf. The family insists he be dispatched. Drama ensues.
Hansel. Twenty years after that fateful Hansel and Gretel encounter with the witch in the forest, he returns to seek revenge. But, surprise! Sister Gretel was not killed as he thought, but is a protege of the witch. Drama ensues.
8th Voyage of Sinbad. So, you thought ol’ Sinbad only had seven voyages? On No. 8 he sails out looking for the golden head of the Colossus of Rhodes and discovers an island ruled by the mythical Minotaur. The beast has evil minions. Drama ensues.
Aladdin. Aladdin accidentally frees an evil genie from the lamp. He must find a way to get the genie back in or havoc will be wreaked upon the world. Drama ensues.
Black Forest. Naive tourists (are there any other kind?) take a trip to an alleged enchanted forest. Of course it is really enchanted and full of evil, evil creatures. The tourists have to fight their way out or die. Drama ensues.
Watch for spurting blood in each of these movies.
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Weekend, Pages 32 on 02/25/2010