LITTLE ROCK — Ever had those moments when you get a great idea or an urge to do something, only to find that everybody else thought of it before you - and beat you to it?
Sure you have. Your mouth watered for a certain restaurant’s food. You jumped into your car to head to that restaurant - and found that, lo and behold, everybody and his mama were there. (That may happen to you this afternoon, as you try to take your pop out for Father’s Day.) You either couldn’t get in the door at all, or barely squeezed in to be greeted with the news that there’d be a 45-minute wait for a table.
Or there finally came the rare day when the time, the money and the weather were right for you to wash your car. You went early thinking no one would be there. But the cars were lined up - at the wash bays and at the vacuum/fragrance machines.
Or you realized you badly needed a pair of brown shoes. But when you went shopping, you found that absolutely no decentlooking brown shoes were available in your size. The last pair had sold earlier that day, the sales associate told you, but they’d be glad to order them for you.
Funny. As much as we point out our differences; as much as we square off against each other politically, economically, religiously and racially; as many fingers as we point at each other - we have the same needs and desires, and based on those, we get the same ideas at the same times. We all want the same things, but limited resources keep all of us from having them. (Which often causes us, among other things, to dwell on our differences.)
So what happens? After you find everybody and his mama wanted what you wanted, and beat you out of it, you have several alternatives. You can wait.You can choose another alternative. You can choose to do without. The good news is that advantages can be found in all of these choices.
The test - the denial - creates patience in you.
It may be painful, but if you grow in the way we’re all designed to grow, you learn to wait with joy. Not to mention the fact that you discover you have time to take care of other tasks that may need squaring away. As you wait for your table, you read thattextbook or go over that report. You leave the carwash and take care of that trip to the dollar store you’ve been putting off. You raid a friend or relative’s wardrobe and borrow brown shoes while you await the ones on back order.
The alternative you chose ends up working out even better for you.
You go to the uncrowded, healthful restaurant, or you gather a few things at the grocery store and cook yourself a delicious meal instead. You wash and clean the car at home, thereby saving money. You find that the black shoes go with more things in your closet than the brown shoes would have. You’re still making a steady paycheck from the second-choice, lowerpaying job. Meanwhile, thecompany that offered the job you wanted has closed or downsized, laying off everyone in the position you would have held there.
You find the world doesn’t end if you do without.
Usually, the aforementioned advantages manifest themselves here. Sooner or later, the opportunity to meet that need or want will come around, and again, you will have learned patience. You may find a shift in your unmet needs or wants, and your attention therefore diverted. You find you have saved yourself some money, trouble, heartache or hassle.
And if you’re fortunate, the whole process causes you to realize that we members of the human race are more alike than we are different. Yet by necessity, we are given different opportunities at different times. And although it may not seem fair, it all evensout.
It was all a big lesson for you in personal growth and cooperation. Can we all get along? If we want to preserve our society and grow as people, we’d better.
After all, the person who beat you to the last available restaurant table, carwash bay or pair of brown shoes has had his share of times being “pipped at the post.” Possibly by you.
Quick, before everybody else thinks of e-mailing:
Style, Pages 49 on 06/20/2010