LITTLE ROCK — Sandra and Jesse.
Al and Tipper.
And now ... Jake and Vienna?
(If you have to ask who - the couple from the last installment of The Bachelor - well, then clearly you need to stay in more.)
How that last breakup burns.
Because if a couple ... who met on a reality show ... in which more than two dozen women competed for the love of a total stranger (well, not a stranger stranger ... a somewhat familiar stranger whom they knew because he too competed on a reality show ... in which more than two dozen men ... competed for the love of a total stranger ... and he was dumped ... by Jillian, a girl who also got dumped on TV ... by another guy, Jason, who also got dumped on TV by another girl, Deanna, who also got dumped on TV by Brad) ... a stranger who was supposed to be a brave and highly skilled commercial pilot ... even though he cried like a child while bungee jumping because he was scared of heights ... still it made for a great upside-down bonding moment with date Vienna ... who was witchy with all her fellow contestants but who is apparently good at kissing while dangling from a cord ... and won his heart, the final rose and an engagement ring (while Ali, one of his rejects - well, she left the show because she had to go back to work ... then tried to come back ... and he told her not to - won the right to be the current Bachelorette) ... and Vienna won the right to sit there in the audience and cheer on her fiance as he participated in Dancing With the Stars ... which has become post-Bachelor rite of passage along with being in the tabloids (Vienna cheated! Jake wasn’t affectionate!Vienna was jealous! Jake was just about the fame!) ... unlike marriage ... because the show might be about choosing a companion for life ... but none of the show’s 15 seasons has yet to produce one happy couple (yes, they have all finally broken up ... from actor Charlie who had an on-again-off-again thing for five years with Sarah to golfer Byron who was always making headlines with girlfriend Mary but sadly not in the sports or society pages, but rather in the police beat) ... well, unless you count Jason ... who chose Melissa and dumped Molly ... and then on the reunion show dumped Melissa ... and then got back withMolly ... and then got married to Molly on TV) ... and unless you count The Bachelorette franchise ... which in five seasons did produce one marriage (Trista and Ryan, who married on TV in 2003 and are still together) and one still-engaged couple (Jillian and Ed, who still have yet to set a wedding date, and who have admittedly “hit a rough patch,” OK magazine recently quoted Jillian as saying)
... if these people can’t make it work, how is there any hope for the rest of us?
We can console ourselves watching The Bachelor Pad, a new show with former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants living in the same house, beginning Aug. 9 on ABC ... starring Jake!
I’ll be broken up if you don’t email: jchristman@arkansasonline.com What’s in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman ’hood.
Style, Pages 29 on 06/29/2010