LITTLE ROCK — Gone is the marker board that outlined the names of helpers who would arrive for ’round the clock feedings and diaper changes. Bouncy seats, Boppy pillows and other baby paraphernalia have been moved out, replaced now by baskets and tubs full of toys, and baby gates block the main path through the house.
Aubrey, Wyatt and Sullivan - the triplet sons of U.S. Rep. Vic Snyder, a Democrat who represents the 2nd District of Arkansas, and his wife, Betsy Singleton Snyder - are 14 months old, and they are on the move.
“Hey, you want to hand me another baby?” says Vic Snyder, holding one baby and doing his best to redirect another who is toddling toward the stairs just outside the nursery door.
The family was preparing to go out, big doings around the Snyder home because it involves getting four children under 4 - big brother Penn is 3 - dressed and strapped into car seats in the minivan.
The triplets had just woken from their morning naps, and as Betsy finished putting on their shoes, Vic ran downstairs to get bottles ready - the babies take whole milk these days, a welcome change from the entire can of formula the three consumed daily until their first birthdays.
Soon he was headed for the minivan, a 27-pound baby in each arm. Aubrey tumbled into some leaves in the driveway as he strapped Sullivan into a car seat. Vic picked him up and liftedhim in the air, chuckling, and said, “Betsy, look at your baby!” as he brushed leaves from Aubrey’s hair and clothes.
At the Purple Cow, Betsy and Penn hopped out of the van and ran inside to make sure there were enough highchairs available and a table large enough for the whole family. It was lunchtime on Saturday, after all, and long waits with three 1-yearolds are nobody’s idea of a fun time.
Heads turned as the family entered the restaurant and people took in the number of babies who would be dining with them.
“You’ve got your hands full,” someone said, and Betsy nodded and made small talk in return.
They hear that a lot. Betsy is happy to have such busy hands.
When she learned that one of the two embryos implanted in her uterus in 2008 had split,she wasn’t so sure things would look like they do today.
“I cried every night and told my husband I had ruined his life and our firstborn’s by insisting on giving him a chance to have a little brother or sister,” she says. “It meant he would have to share everything, including college funds that would now be divided among four! But my husband would hold me and tell me that we had gotten married as an adventure, that was our code that we pledged when we decided to marry, and that this amazing opportunity was going to make our marriage that much more of an adventure!”
The pregnancy was challenging, with nausea and fatigue setting in early, and six weeks before the babies were born Betsy developed preeclampsia. Late in the pregnancy, she developed cardiomyopathy, a virus that attacked and weakened her heart.
Even after delivery, her health remained fragile.
HEALTH COMPLICATIONS
“Once, I returned to the hospital in distress. I got a chest Xray and an echocardiogram was taken,” says Betsy, 48. “Because the heart was enlarged, my mitral valve prolapse, previously unsymptomatic, was leaking; it just pulled the valve apart. I came very close to being intubated. Scary when you have four kids 2 and under.”
She was able to pump breast milk for the triplets while they were in the hospital, and when they came home, she nursed one baby at each feeding, supplementing with formula to fill in the gaps. That came to a screeching halt in February when her doctor told her she would need to start beta blockers.
“They couldn’t have [that medication] so I just had to quit cold turkey. It was the worst thing I’ve ever been through - it was incredibly painful,” she says, referring to the physical pain as well as to the mental anguish she felt at no longer being able to offer her babies breast milk’s protective antibodies.
It’s tough for any new mother to find time to exercise, eat right and get enough rest, but for Betsy that time is non-negotiable - her health depends on it. She has taken leave of absence from the United Methodist Church where she was a pastor so that she could focus on her health and family, which includes two dogs, an English cocker spaniel named Dottie and a golden retriever named Powder.
“I feel better but I get tired, and try not to ignore that,” she says. “I work out at least four times a week for an hour. I think that’s a good way to take care of my heart and my future. It also helps my stress level and provides some me time. Stress is not good for me. I probably need more rest, but I don’t get it with the babies. I’m hoping to get more when my husband is home more. He’s very good to help me when he is home.”
RETIREMENT
Vic Snyder, 64, often spends several days a week in Washington, but the seven-term congressman announced in January that he would not seek re-election, citing the desire to spend more time with his family.
“I spent several months trying to talk myself into running but my heart wasn’t in it,” he says. “It was just too painful, too difficult to leave such young children for so many days of the year.”
He is a hands-on father, seated on this day at Purple Cow between identical twins Wyatt and Sullivan - Aubrey is on the other side of the table, between Betsy and Penn - and dolingout bits of macaroni and cheese, chicken fingers and fruit, and sharing spoonfuls of his chocolate shake.
It can be challenging to find one-on-one time with each of the four boys, so they grab it where they can.
When the boys are awake, Betsy can often be found on the floor of their playroom - a closed-in garage, stocked with bulk items from Sam’s Club, an extra refrigerator, dog beds and bowls, and lots and lots of toys. She sits in the middle of the room and the boys wander over one at a time to play or sink into her lap for a snuggle.
“They kind of let you know when they need attention,” she says.
She takes Penn or one of the babies on errands with her when it’s practical, and she took Penn on a recent trip to Las Vegas in the company of a friend who had a convention scheduled there.
“Show her the pictures of the Aquarium in Las Vegas,” Penn suggested to his mother as she pulled up pictures on her cell phone. He loved spending time with his mom, without hissiblings, and he enjoyed The Lion King so much that he now listens to the music on a regular basis.
Vic stayed home with the babies while they were away.
“I really kind of liked being alone with them,” he says.
TWO’S BETTER
When both parents are home everything is easier. They can put two babies in the bath at a time, sometimes even a third - Penn. But alone, it’s too dangerous to bathe more than one mobile baby.
On a recent evening when Vic took Penn to a fundraiser, Betsy proudly made her way upstairs with all three babies, holding one while the other two walked or crawled alongside. She put the babies in their cribs and proceeded to bathe them one at a time, wrappingeach in a towel, diapering them, grabbing a bottle that had been moved from the mini-refrigerator in the nursery to a crockpot of warm water, before moving on to the next baby. Then came baby massages, lotion and pajamas before lights out.
“Bath time is hard becauseyou know someone is going to be crying,” she says. “You just really can’t do more than one at a time.”
What most surprises visitors to the Snyder household, according to Betsy, is the lack of chaos.
Having the babies on a fairly strict schedule keeps things running smoothly, she says. They wake at about 7 a.m., followed by breakfast, playtime and then a bottle before naps at about 9:45. They’re up between 11 and 11:30 a.m. for lunch, more playtime and then another bottle before afternoon naps. Then there is more playtime, dinner, baths, bottles and bed, usually between 7 and 7:30 p.m. Most nights, the boys sleep until morning but when one is sick, all bets are off. Sickness has the potential for turning the household upside down.
OLDER BROTHER
“Usually when a baby is crying I wake up,” says Penn, who is recovering from a bout of pneumonia. And a stomach bug felled one of his brothers and his mom for part of a week around the same time he was sick. “I just go to see what’s happening to the babies,” he says.
Fortunately, putting the babies to bed is relatively quick and easy, thanks to training early on by a nanny for newborns. They are zipped into sleep sacks, the sound machine is turned on, pacifiers are doled out and - the occasional brief round of crying aside - they are off to dreamland within minutes.
It’s hard to say what life will look like in the Snyder house a year from now.
Vic isn’t sure yet what he’ll do after he leaves office.
“Every time somebody says I’m going to retire, my wife gags, because I have to work,” says Vic. He does, after all, have four growing boys at home.
No matter. Come what may, they know it won’t be boring.
“I can say that having children is the most exciting adventure I’ve ever had, and I’ve had some wonderful opportunities, like going to the White House and meeting presidents, traveling and establishing a career I have enjoyed,” says Betsy. “And I love the craziness/busyness of having four children. The truth is I’d like to have another one. I keep asking my husband if we can adopt. That’s probably not a good idea, but I keep saying, ‘What’s one more ?’”
Family, Pages 31 on 03/17/2010