LITTLE ROCK — This Thanksgiving season - in a year when many of us are bombarded by the things not to be thankful for - here are just some of the things I’m thankful for, on “national news headlines” and personal levels:
That there is no air travel in my immediate future and that I am not employed in one of those controversial feel-copping jobs with the Transportation Security Administration.
That I have a job that doesn’t involve mining deep underground.
That my determination not to ever shop on Black Friday still holds. (To those who did venture out two days ago, I hope you made it back in one piece, and that a straitjacket is not currently a part of your wardrobe.)
That I probably won’t ever feel the urge to drink while flying planes or driving nuclear weapons back and forth.
That nothing tragic has occurred as a result of those who have swigged booze while flying planes or driving nukes back and forth.
That reality-star news and confusing TV action dramas haven’t caused me to load my television sets in the car, haul them over to one of Little Rock’s skyscrapers, and catch an elevator to the roof for the express purpose of sailing the sets off the top floor.
That I have not, at least yet, succumbed to the ton of treacly Christmas movies that now dominate such cable channels as Hallmark. (They’re already showing Ebbie! Run for the hills!)
That total nudity has yet tobecome a fashion trend.
That Facebook has privacy settings to guard against getting flirty messages from folks halfway around the world, as well as spammers who feel the need to use nude images on their Facebook profile pages.
That I haven’t gotten too old-haggish to get flirty messages of any kind.
That I’m not a college or professional football coach this season, although it’d be nice to make the salary of one.
The fact that a move of a few blocks to a much cheaper place is tempering my dislike of moving. (More on that later.)
That the Men’s Health magazine ranking of Little Rock as America’s 10th “Holiest Hometown” (in the December issue) refers to the number of places of worship, and the religious organizations and the support of them - and not to our underwear.
That we haven’t been named the most dangerous city, although the way we drive, sometimes I wonder.
That the number of hate crimes went down in 2009. Now, if only hateful sentiments (and, especially, those online comments!) would follow.
The usual things: life; decent health; “three hots and a cot”; a car that runs at the moment; friends, family and readers.
That even the retailers want us to have a “merry Christmas” rather than a mere “happy holidays.” Still thankful for e-mail: hwilliams@arkansasonline.com
Style, Pages 59 on 11/28/2010