CONWAY — Someone once said that raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
Denisce Warren of Conway is going to try to help parents by leading them through a six-week course called Active Parenting of Teens.
The free course will be from 6-8 p.m. Thursdays, beginning today, through Feb. 17 at the Faulkner County Library, 1900 Tyler St. in Conway.
“When I was raising my family, I searched for
parenting classes,” Warren said. “I needed some help; I think all parents do,” she said, laughing. “They need encouragement.”
Warren has four grown children and five grandchildren. A retired educator with 30 years’ experience, she works part-time as a counselor at Guy-Perkins Elementary School.
“As my children matured into adulthood and I was working in counseling, I saw the need for skill building and relationship building,” she said. “I think support is a big part of that, and that other people are searching as well.”
The curriculum is DVD-based, each participant gets a free book — Active Parenting of Teens, by Michael Popkin — and refreshments will be served.
The book promotes that it includes “what parents need to know to help their teens survive and thrive in the 21st century with special attention given to drug use, sexuality and violence.”
One of the goals is for parents to figure out their style of parenting and how their children perceive them — as a dictator, an active parent or a doormat.
Warren said an active parent is “implementing the strategies for a win-win situation, instilling responsibility and opening communication, building mutual respect.”
One of the issues to be discussed during the class is methods of discipline.
“What works for the 7-, 8-, 9-year-old doesn’t work when they’re teenagers,” she said. “It’s allowing children to have logical consequences.”
She said the most eye-opening part of the book for her was learning that teenagers’ brains don’t work the same way as adults’ brains.
“The development of the brain is absolutely fascinating — it explains why teenagers are the way they are,” she said.
Warren said “the brain develops from back to front and the prefrontal cortex,” and the last part of the brain to develop is where judgment, emotion and impulse control are located.
“It puts it into perspective and takes some of the pressure off,” she said.
“I’m at a point in my life that I can enjoy the research and don’t have to worry about the application,” she added with a laugh.
“To know it and to do it, that’s the challenge, because I think most of us know what to do,” she said.
She said class participants will likely learn from each other.
“Sharing is a part of it — then just learning and growing together,” she said.
“I think there’s a lot of help in knowing you’re not alone and that other people are experiencing the same issues you are.”
Warren, 58, said she doesn’t think raising children is harder these days, although “the breakdown of the family has been significant.
“That’s a complex answer,” she said. “Family systems have changed; I can’t deny that. I think the needs of children are the same; I don’t think that has changed. They need time,
attention, interest, involvement and support.”
She said there can be up to 20 participants in the class, and individuals are welcome to show up tonight.
The class is funded through Centers for Youth and Families in Little Rock, which received a grant through Workforce Education to train individuals in seven counties to lead the parenting classes. The six-week course will be offered two more times.
“Our hope and prayer is to perhaps find funds to continue the program,” she said. “Ideally, if there was interest and support and need, I would love to continue doing it.”
The class isn’t just for parents of troubled teenagers, Warren emphasized.
“I think all parents can benefit from it, even though they’re really not having any problems with their child,” she said. “It can validate some things you’re doing right … and prepare you for the next stage of life,” she said, laughing, “because it definitely will change.”
For more information, call the Faulkner County Library at (501) 327-7482.