Smurfin’ U.S.A.

LITTLE ROCK — The Smurfs86

Cast:

Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, Sofia Vergara, Hank Azaria and voices of Anton Yelchin, Jonathan Winters, Katy Perry, Alan Cumming, George Lopez

Director:

Raja Gosnell

Rating:

PG, for mild rude humor and action

Running time:

86 minutes Because I haven’t done any reviews for a long - two years! - time, I should reintroduce myself: C’est moi, Paris. And I was chosen to do this review for two good reasons. The first is that I am, as a 3-year-old, part of the demographic cohort at which The Smurfs movie - a 3-D project that combines live action and computer animation - is allegedly aimed.

And the second, and probably more important, reason is because the Smurfs and I have in common our fictive personalities. Before you throw up your hands or begin to compose an e-letter to some editor, perhaps you might want to consider how all of us are, to some degree, products of wistfulness, and it’s up to each of us to determine exactly how real we are. In any case, we live in a world where puppy dogs write filmcriticism, and sexless blue elves entertain our children. Get over it.

I am, of course, too young to remember the ’80s television serieswhich introduced Smurfs into the American mainstream, and a discursion into their Belgian roots seems beside the point. But I want parents to consider that if they met the Smurfs when they were young and impressionable, then they are likely to receive this movie through the blue-tinted granny glasses of nostalgia, while those of us undergoing our first exposure to Smurfs are likely to find them bizarre. Charming, maybe, but mostly weirder than watching a Gregg Araki film with one’s grand-maman.

But OK, for the uninitiated, Smurfs are magical blue folk (sort of like the Na’vi in Avatar) who live in an enchanted forest (“Le Pays Maudit”). They were an all-male society until an evil wizard Gargamel (played by Hank Azaria in the present film)made Smurfette out of clay and sent her into the Smurf village to cause jealousy and dissent among the indigenous population. But then Papa Smurf (voiced by Jonathan Winters, both in the wayback and the now) took pity on Smurfette and magically made her a real Smurf. All the Smurfs still love her and compete for her attention but somehow she doesn’t disturb the equanimity of workers’ paradise our blue pioneers have made in the forest.

All that happened long before The Smurfs movie starts, and only the opening scenes are set in Smurfland, because somehow a vortex/portal opens and the key Smurfs are sucked into New York’s Central Park, pursued closely by Gargamel and his at-times computer-generated familiar Azrael the cat (Mr. Krinkle).

In addition to Papa and Smurfette (voiced by Katy Perry), the Smurfs that windup in Manhattan are Clumsy (Anton Yelchin), Brainy (Fred Armisen), Grouchy (George Lopez) and Gutsy (Alan Cumming), who is, for some reason, a kilt-wearing Scotsman. As you might have surmised, most Smurfs are named for their defining quality. They also tend to sing an annoying song. And they speak something called Smurf language, which was developed over two decades by a team of Flemish linguists. It basically consists of randomly substituting the word “Smurf” for other words in English.

Par example, a Smurf might say, “Smurf you, you Smurfing Smurf.”

Or: “Look at that Smurfing hipster, in his Smurfing ironic mustache and Smurfing Peyo T-shirt.”

Or: “Go the Smurf to sleep, mon petit canard.”

Anyway, once the Smurfs get to New York, all they want to do is get back to their magicvillage. But first they have to help the pretty wonderful Neil Patrick Harris and one of the cute girls from Glee do some boring stuff. But then there’s a big showdown with Gargamel and Azrael and some mild rude humor and action. And an adorable basset hound named Elway (Hank).

This is the paragraph where I tell you the movie was in 3-D and say whether I was impressed or not by it. I wasn’t. But then I don’t really get two dimensions, much less three.

However implausible the film gets, it avoids ickiness and doesn’t overstay its welcome, while setting up the inevitable sequel. Of all the movies I’ve ever seen, this one is the Smurfing bluest, and Scooby-Doo director Raja Gosnell’s best work to date. I hereby convey upon it two and a half pink ponies.

You can see pictures of guest reviewer Paris H. Martin at

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