LITTLE ROCK — A few months ago the kids and I went to dinner at a local restaurant. Our waiter was pleasant and attentive, so when the meal ended I gave him two nice tips. The first was in cash; the second was what I call my waiter speech.
As I started, my 17-year old groaned, while his older sister looked confused. The speech had been developed, tested and perfected while she was away last year and this was the first time she’d heard it. My son, on the other hand, knows it by heart.
After our waiter assured me he had a free moment, I quickly explained that I was a columnist who often reviews research on human behavior, and that I wanted to share a way he could make better tips. The waiter looked interested. My son looked down and shook his head.
“The key is knowing that humans are more likely to help people who’ve done them small favors,” I told him. “So here’s what you do. When you bring the check and the mints at the end of the meal, say your usual thing and start to turn away. But before you turn away completely, pause. Then turn back and say something like, ‘You guys have been great. Here are some extra mints for you,’ and leave one more mint per customer.”
When no one reacted, I summed it up. “That’s it!” I exclaimed enthusiastically, shrugging my shoulders for emphasis. “That’s all you have to do to make better tips.”
There was an awkward pause. My daughter looked at me oddly, then looked at my son, who closed his eyes and nodded. The waiter just looked uncomfortable. Clearly, he didn’t get the full impact of what I’d shared.
“It goes back to building a tribe of people who take care of each other,” I explained.“Doing small favors cements those relationships, you see?” He nodded unconvincingly, but I was used to this reaction.
“Just try it,” I said confidently. “Good luck!”
As we left the restaurant my daughter turned to her brother and said, “When did she start doing that?”
“Whole time you were gone,” he mumbled.
Last week, the three of us went back to the restaurant and were seated in a different section. We’d barely sat down when the waiter to whom I’d given the speech walked by. We all recognized him, and I’m pretty sure my son winced.
“He doesn’t recognize you,” my daughter said. She sounded relieved.
“Oh well,” I said, a little disappointed. But she was wrong. Suddenly, the young man wheeled around and came back to our table.
“It’s you!” he said, with a huge smile, looking right at me. “You’re the lady who told me about the tips!”
I nodded eagerly. My children cringed.
“It works!” he exclaimed.“I’ve been doing what you said and it really works!”
I felt like I’d won the lottery. My kids looked stunned. They stared at him, then at me, then back at him.
“Thank you so much,” he continued. “I used to get $5, $10, $15 tips. Now I get $15, $20, I even got a $40 tip one time. I mean, it doesn’t work every time, but it works most of the time. The other waiters ask me how I do it, and I tell them this nice lady came in and told me how to get better tips.”
I was elated. Finally, a waiter had listened to me and the feedback was thrilling. I felt so … right. Now that we were buddies, we chatted some more. He introduced himself as Davon, and told us he was in college but had to take time off to work. Better tips, he said, meant a lot.
After he left, my daughter asked me how I felt.
“So good,” I told her. “You have no idea.” Across the table, my son grinned at me proudly. I couldn’t stop smiling. “It’s so great to be proven right in front of your kids,” I told them.
Write to Jennifer Hansen at Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, P.O. Box 7, Springdale, Ark. 72765. Email her at:
Family, Pages 38 on 10/26/2011