Thanks again, State Fair, for smiles, warm fuzzies

LITTLE ROCK — Dear Arkansas State Fair,

This is a thank-you note.

Actually, it’s more a love letter.

I almost didn’t see you this year. I waited until the last day, and that afternoon had arrived drizzly and dreary. The crowds, the noise, the mud, the parking, the expense, the bathrooms, the indigestion - all seemed so much more daunting.

I was tempted to call off our nearly annual date. But instead I found myself calling a friend. Together we bundled up, booted up and showed up, ready to stay for an hour just to say we had gone.

But then we stayed for an unexpected six, people watching, pointing, animal petting and appreciating all that is wacky and wonderful in the world.

I fed carrot chips (surely the best money and calories bargain at the fair after the 25-cent handful of animal feeding pellets - just $1per baggie) to sheep, pygmy goats, fainting goats, alpacas and a miniature donkey.

I washed my hands at portable sinks. A lot.

I inhaled the intoxicating aromas of cotton candy and onions and fried Oreos and giant turkey legs, ew, and the piggy barn (where it always is, right near the Pork Chop Shop).

I saw a big man’s booty crack as he waited for a child on a ride. I saw a woman staggering in 6-inch high sandals. I saw little divas in training in matching pink leopard hoodies screech when they saw a miniature zebra.

I sipped a sweet, spicy and strangely tasty jalapeno lemonade.

I shared salty, crunchy deep-fried pickle spears. And deep-fried chopped bacon and cream cheese balls. And a burger served on a, yes, fried doughnut. “I guess I didn’t need to wear lotion today,” my friend said, dabbing oil from fingers.

I held a goat that confused my hair extensions for hay.

I saw that there is a steak and lobster dinner available for about $30. Hmm, maybe if it had come on a stick.

I admired crafts, from a framed puzzle (Really, completing a puzzle counts as a craft? A prize-winning craft?) to a vest made out of can tabs.

I rode all the rides - no hands! - from the Fire Ball to the Rainbow to the Zipper. Well, vicariously through the squeals of the much more courageous.

I cheered pig races (or whatever you call them when one particularly portly porker surrenders waddling mid-race and stands there staring at the crowd) put on by two overgrown men in overalls who called themselves Hambone and Pork Chop.

I saw baboons perform tricks - smiling, high-fiving, hugging - for bananas. Only to peel the banana, eat the banana and then eat the peel.

I heard kids shrieking and saw them pummeling their siblings with inflatable mallets.

I saw Razorbacks jerseys - Joe Flacco, Michael Oher, Ray Rice - being offered as prizes at a basketball toss game. Wait, huh, Baltimore Ravens jerseys at the Arkansas State Fair? Ahh, so the booth was just at the Maryland State Fair two weeks before. That explains the Old Bay at the corn dog stand (yeah, I went there too).

I watched tough guys hauling around gigantic stuffed Smurfs.

I stepped in everything from funnel cakes to filth.

I patted animals from bunnies to horses in the barns until the cows quite literally went home.

I know that big changes might be ahead for you, for all of us as other venues are considered. Here’s hoping your hokey, homespun spirit stays the same.

Love, Jennifer It’s fair game to e-mail:jchristman@arkansasonline.com Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture and a weekly segment on Little Rock’s KURB-FM, 98.5, at 7 a.m. Thursdays. Listen live and hear podcasts at b98.com.