WHAT’S IN A DAME

100 Most Powerful Women ... plus one?

— Forbes recently published its World’s 100 Most Powerful Women List.

Appears I wasn’t on it. Again.

Appears I must have come in at No. 101. Again. (A pox upon you, No. 100 Sheikha Mayassa Al Thani, chairman of Qatar Museums Authority! Whoever you are!)

So who was first on this year’s list?

Angela Merkel! A most marvelous and mighty choice indeed!

What do you mean you don’t know who Angela Merkel is? Why, she’s, um, a woman and so very, very, um, strong!

Admittedly, I didn’t know who the chancellor of Germany was either until I Googled it (props to No. 25 on the list - Susan Wojcicki, Google’s senior vice president). Which is not to say I’m completely ignorant when it comes to foreign affairs. I know all about Queen Elizabeth II (No. 26). And I know she’s seething she was outranked by singer Lady Gaga (No. 14).

Of course I recognized Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (No. 2) and first lady Michelle Obama (No. 7). I even knew Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook (a big thumbs-up “likes this” to her).

I own tons of merchandise from fashion designer Diane Von Furstenberg (No. 33), scores of scarves from Burberry (chief executive officer Angela Ahrendts is No. 45) and bunches of bags from Prada (owner and designer Miuccia Prada is No. 67). OK, so I don’t exactly. Until I do make the Most Powerful Women List, I’ll mostly buy the fakes.

And I’ve certainly bought my fair share of bulk toilet paper from Rosalind Brewer (No. 50, president and CEO of Sam’s Club), magazines from Anna Wintour (No. 51, editor-in-chief of Vogue, Conde Nast Publications Inc.) and burgers from Jan Fields (No. 88, president of McDonald’s USA). And one day soon I’ll finally get up to Bentonville to see Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art (No. 43 is chairman Alice Walton).

I’m acquainted with the work of personalities like Diane Sawyer (No. 23), Ellen DeGeneres (who at No. 47 was beaten by another former American Idol judge, No. 38 Jennifer Lopez) and Greta Van Susteren (No. 94).

And, hey, I’m on a first-name basis with No. 11 Oprah and No. 32 Beyonce.

But I must admit ignorance with much of the list. Maria dasGracas Silva Foster, CEO of Petrobras (No. 20)?; Zhang Xin, co-founder and CEO of SOHO China Ltd. (No. 42)?; Shari Arison, an investor and philanthropist from Israel (No. 64)? Never heard of them.

Now, wait, I have heard of HTC - the entity for which No. 56 Cher Wang of Taiwan is co-founder and chairman! How I love buying things from that shopping channel!

Ooops, I confused whatever the heck HTC is with HSN, the Home Shopping Network! (Look Mindy Grossman, CEO of HSN made No. 96! Hey, Mindy, as one of your best customers, let me say, “You’re welcome!”)

One name jumped out to me more than any other on this list:

No. 83, Gisele Bundchen.

Wait, the chick who was always in my mail, in her underwear? Since when did “powerful” come to mean “hot in a thong”?

It seems the one time Victoria’s Secret model has been Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations Environment Programme and is quite an entrepreneur and philanthropist, which we found out through research made possible by Sue Gardner (the executive director of WikiMedia Foundation was No. 70).

Whew. For a minute we had to wonder who made this list: Forbes or Maxim.

BTW, the full list is at www.forbes.com/power-women/list.

Power up an e-mail:

jchristman@arkansasonline.com

What’s in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman ’hood.

Style, Pages 27 on 08/28/2012

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