J-Lo and Tyler too? Who will renew American Idol?

LITTLE ROCK — Steven Tyler: Out.

Jennifer Lopez: Out.

American Idol: In crisis.

Yet again the Fox singing competition show finds its judges panel in transition.

It began as a panel of three (Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson), and became a panel of four (Cowell, Abdul, Jackson and Kara Dio-Guardi), and then became a different panel of four (Cowell, Jackson, DioGuardi and Ellen DeGeneres) and then returned to a panel of three (Jackson, Tyler and Lopez).

Now, it’s just a panel of one: Jackson. (If he’s still going to be a judge. A story in US Weekly quoted a source as saying that producers “think they need to freshen everything up now”.) All this suspicion swirls while Season 12 auditions begin this month.

We want to help. Here’s our short list of who should judge American Idol:

Taylor Hicks. It’s not like he’s had a job since winning the show in Season 5.

Brian Dunkleman. It’s not like he’s had a job since cohosting the show in Season 1.

Kelly Clarkson. We predict Idol’s Season 1 winner isn’t going to have a job after judging on that dud Duets singing competition series on ABC.

Mitt Romney/Barack Obama. One isn’t going to have a job in a few months, but they can still be involved in the democratic process.

Any Kardashian. It’s not like they’ve had a job, well, ever.

Ryan Seacrest. As much as he makes to host American Idol ($15 million per season to say “Thisssssssssssssss is American Idol”), he should not only host the show, but judge, produce, film, edit and sweep up after.

Katie Holmes (who swiftly divorced husband and Scientologist Tom Cruise and enrolled their daughter in Catholic school). Now that she has a mind of her own.

Madonna. She might need money for legal fees. France’s National Front is threatening lawsuits after the singer recently flashed an image of a Nazi swastika on party leader Marine Le Pen’s face in concert.

Madonna, again. She could use a wardrobe department’s assistance. The 53-year-old also flashed a breast and her buttocks in concert.

No one. Because American Idol judges are completely irrelevant. The cute white guy with the guitar always wins anyway.

Don’t be idle, e-mail to: jchristman@arkansasonline.com Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture and a weekly segment on Little Rock’s KURB-FM, B98.5 at 7 a.m. Thursdays. Listen live and hear podcasts at b98.com.