LITTLE ROCK — So Bella was not Team Vampire.
She was not Team Werewolf.
She was Team Married Director with Kids.
Kristen Stewart, most famous for her role in Twilight and her on-and-off-screen romance with co-star Robert Pattinson, recently admitted she cheated on her boyfriend of three years.
The 22-year-old actress became involved with Rupert Sanders, who is the director of her latest project, Snow White and the Huntsman, as well as a husband and a father of two.
So much for Sleepy. This Snow White had Sleazy instead.
And the world might not have known about the matter if Stewart hadn’t openly apologized for the betrayal. Correction, the world might not have known about the matter if she hadn’t openly apologized for the betrayal after another magazine - Us Weekly - already had photos of Stewart and Sanders kissing.
“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected,” Stewart said in the most hurtful and embarrassingly possible way - via a statement to People. “This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him,I’m so sorry.”
Poor girl! I’m Team Forgiveness now!
But if she really loved and respected Pattinson, would she - among the paparazzi’s most prized prey - have risked getting caught canoodling with another man? (And would she have done it while wearing an L.A. Dodgers baseball cap? A hat that certainly belongs to baseball fan Pattinson? Foul!).
Poor guy! I’m Team Vengeance now!
Maybe Stewart made a media apology because Pattinson is no longer speaking to her (and because she couldn’t exactly tweet it; fan outrage forced her to dismantle her Twitter account). He and his ball cap collection have reportedly moved out of the couple’s shared dwelling.
Sanders also provided an apology via statement to People: “I am utterly distraught about the pain I have caused my family. My beautiful wife and heavenly children are all I have in this world. I love them with all my heart. I am praying that we can get through this together.”
“Heavenly.” “Praying.” Too bad he didn’t discover religion before this unfortunate event.
Now that the incident has blown up publicly, at least the parties can go about healing privately.
Well, until Pattinson has to promote his new movie next month.
And until Stewart and Sanders have a Snow White sequel to produce.
And until Stewart and Pattinson have to hype November’s Breaking Dawn - Part 2 in November.
Wait, could this - from the fling, to the photos, to the magazine apologies - all have been a publicity stunt?
Poor us! I’m Team Conspiracy now!
I’ll be sorry if you don’t e-mail:
What’s in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman ’hood.
Style, Pages 27 on 07/31/2012