LITTLE ROCK — A few weeks back I admitted I’m Bad With Babies.
(I like them. I just don’t know what to do with them and how to feed them, change them, talk to them, hold them or act around them.)
Another thing I’m not great with: Drop-in Duty.
With friends and family, I’m fairly good at calling/texting to check in, sending gifts/thank you notes and organizing outings.
But I’m never the first one to visit at the hospital, show up with a condolences sandwich tray or meet the new neighbors.
I don’t ever mean to be cold or uncaring. I just sometimes get overwhelmed, and, well, awkward. I don’t want to show up at the wrong time and say the wrong thing, so I end up doing something much worse - being a no-show and saying nothing.
It’s a weakness. I’m working on it.
Recently I got a Facebook message that helped take out all the work.
A friend sent a group notice that she was setting up a meal train for mutual friends - a couple with a sick child who is undergoing treatment (by the way, if you can spare some positivity or prayers, a little girl named Asher needs them).
It was accompanied by a link to mealTrain.com with this explanation: “What is a meal train? There are times in our lives when friends and family ask, ‘What can I do to help out?’ The answer is usually to help them with a meal. When many friends give a meal, this is a meal train,” the simple-to-navigate site explains.
In 2009 Kathleen Laramee volunteered to arrange meals for a neighborhood family after the new birth of a new baby in 2009: “While enjoying her role, Kathleen was frequently asked the same questions from the potential givers. ‘What days are they available? What do they like to eat? What have they already had? What don’t they like? Are there any allergies? How many should I cook for? Can I reschedule?’ In addition, the recipient family was also asking questions: ‘Who is delivering tonight? Can we invite more people? Someone just called and wants to bring something by, are we available? Can you tell people not to bring any more soup?” Her husband, Michael, and software developer Stephen DePasquale created mealTrain.com to eliminate guesswork and simplify the caring process. The site even sends out reminder e-mails to participants.
By clicking the link, I could immediately see the family’s address, preferred drop-off time, meal dislikes, allergies/ dietary restrictions. I could also see which friends would be bringing what and when: The family would be getting Mexican lasagna and key lime pie Tuesday; pulled pork sandwiches, slaw and pound cake with strawberries Wednesday; and chicken pot pie, salad and bread Thursday.
A space was open for Friday, so that’s when they’ll be getting homemade spaghetti with meat sauce, breadsticks and gelato from me. Or, well, comparable carryout, if I end up being too disorganized for proper meal prep.
It’s another weakness. I’m working on that too.
Ride the train, and e-mail: jchristman@arkansasonline.com What’s in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman ’hood.
Style, Pages 27 on 05/22/2012