Second thoughts

— Would he be happy camper?

Now that Terrell Owens is out of a job again - the Allen (Texas) Wranglers of the Indoor Football League released him earlier this week - maybe the former All-Prowide receiver will have time to run a youth football camp this summer.

From the satirical website sportspickle.com, the Terrell Owens Youth Football Camp’s schedule would look something like this:

9-9:30 a.m.: Touchdown celebration practice

9:30-10 a.m.: Making fun of the quarterbacks at camp

10-10:15 a.m.: Scheduled walking out of practice in a huff

10:15-10:45 a.m.: Driveway exercise

10:45 a.m.: Blaming fellow campers for your mistakes

11 a.m.: Being asked to leave

Proper punishment

Boston Red Sox Manager Bobby Valentine called the Tampa Bay Rays’ coaching staff “very immature” after a series of pitchers hitting batters and retaliation during their series.

Tampa Bay Manager Joe Madden earlier called the Red Sox’s actions “ridiculous” and “idiotic.”

Wrote Reggie Hayes of The News-Sentinel of Fort Wayne, Ind.: “Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig is contemplating whether to suspend the managers’ television privileges or make them stand in the corner for a 15-minute timeout.” The Edge of Glory

Pro golfer Thomas Levet, who should be concentratingon boosting his ranking as the 215th best golfer in the world, is apparently more concerned with pumping up his social media scorecard.

The Frenchman is promising to play a round at a British tournament dressed as Lady Gaga if he can reach 1 million Twitterfollowers.

Soon after annoucing his plans, Levet tweeted that his promise had already netted him a quick run of 500 additional followers, which means it will take a mere 2,000 more days to achieve his goal.

Is it possibile to know if Levet made this promise with a poker face?

Really?

Green Bay Packers receiver Donald Driver said winning Dancing with the Stars was aboutthe same as winning a Super Bowl.

“To win the Super Bowl, you have to get past Ray Lewis,” wrote Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald. “To take Dancing with the Stars, Driver had to defeat the guy who played Urkel.” A save situation

Cincinnati Reds third baseman Todd Frazier and teammate Ryan Ludwick were eating lunch Tuesday afternoon at a Pittsburgh restaurant when they noticed a customer across the room struggling to breathe.

Frazier leaped into action, jumping behind the man and using the Heimlich maneuver to dislodge a sizable piece of meat from his throat.

“He was a little obese and there were two women side-by-side trying to give him the Heimlich,” Frazier said. “[Ludwick] said, ‘Get over there,’ because I was the closest one. So I went over there and was yelling at them to get out of the way. They did, and I gave two pumps and it came out.”

The customer recovered, thanked both players, then picked up the tab without realizing either played for the Reds.

Quote of the day “If we’re going to make a move in this regional,

Astin’s got to be a big part of it.” Arkansas Coach Dave Van Horn on closer Barrett Astin heading into the Houston Regional

Sports, Pages 20 on 05/31/2012

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