LITTLE ROCK — More than a year ago, I began a daily morning practice of writing down at least 10 things for which I am grateful. Even if the previous day was awful, there are at least 10 things in my life that are positive. It’s those positive ingredients I focus on almost every morning.
When the list is being written, the goal is to identify what’s going right. Think about that. We don’t focus on that goal very often because complaining, worrying and hurting are what we’re used to. But after more than a year of daily practice, what I’ve learned is that even really bad days have many good to great ingredients. What we choose to focus on changes everything.
This is the essence of reframing through gratitude, and Thanksgiving Day is the perfect opportunity to adopt this practice and make it your own. Taking the time to write a list of things to be grateful for has changed my life in ways that seemed subtle at first, but in hindsight are cumulatively profound.
This past year has held some tough challenges for my family. There’s no question that I’ve withstood what’s come at us better by donning the protective grace of optimism and gratitude. By doing that, I’ve helped my family do the same.
Consistency is the key. Gratitude deepens and gets easier with practice, and a consistently grateful life becomes a consistently great life.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy, only that it will get easier. Like any discipline, this is work, but it’s pleasant, comforting, happy work. It’s a commitment you want to keep. And if you miss a day, don’t worry about it — guilt does not make us more grateful.
In reality, gratitude doesn’t have to be daily. If once a year is the best you can do, then start there and challenge yourself to grow. If it’s your exception to the rule, like any positive virtue, it’s still powerful.
When love fills my heart, I am a better person. When joy is my attitude, I can spread it. When patience is my goal, others receive the benefit of it, and so on. Gratitude is an easy access point because it’s kind of mellow, we say thanks fairly easily, and most of us have plenty to be grateful for.
Thanksgiving is our only national holiday named for a virtue. This is a gift for our families and for our country. It’s a reminder of what really matters. On that day, we’re called to whatever table is ours with whatever family is present to give thanks for whatever matters.
We remember those who are not present or who can never again be with us; we notice the food and the home or shelter; we feel the warmth and comfort; we see the faces of the people to whom we are connected. Knowing we are all human, and therefore all broken in some way, we have the opportunity to set aside the challenges and simply give thanks.
It’s a tall order and a magnificent act. What do real families need? They need healing. They need love, forgiveness, tolerance and commitment. Every one of these is heightened by gratitude. To sincerely give thanks together, to model that for your families, can bridge the past and set a new tone for the future. There will still be work to do, but you will have taken a first step.
Gratitude changes attitudes and changes lives. For me, it is the access point for well-being, clear thinking, and right priorities for my day. This Thanksgiving, I hope it changes, blesses and graces your life, and the life of everyone you meet.
Write to Jennifer Hansen at Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, P.O. Box 7, Springdale, Ark. 72765. E-mail her at:
jhansen@arkansasonline.com
Family, Pages 34 on 11/21/2012