Having a hankering for Hostess

By Tammy Keith Originally Published November 25, 2012 at 12:00 a.m.
Updated November 23, 2012 at 8:56 a.m.
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I haven’t had a Twinkie or Ding Dong in 15 years, probably, not counting fried Twinkies at Toad Suck Daze.

When I heard Hostess was going out of business, I immediately wanted one of the things.

My mind went back to my childhood.

Back in my day, Ding Dongs (in parts of the country they are called King Dons) were better. They were wrapped in real aluminum foil, which somehow kept them fresh. I’m pretty sure they were bigger.

That’s back when we didn’t care if we ate things that could survive a nuclear meltdown. Look at ingredients? Don’t make me laugh. I ate Cool Whip out of the container as a kid. Fried potatoes were the only vegetables I liked.

In high school, my friends and I would walk across the street to a grocery store, and I’d get a pressed-ham sandwich (yes, that’s gross, but it was cheaper) and sometimes a Hostess apple pie. I loved the flaky sugar on the outside, the soft dough and the thick jell-like apple filling.

I’m not sure why I didn’t get a Ding Dong. I think maybe because I had those at home.

Hey, good mothers bought those for their kids! Especially ones like mine, who loved chocolate, too. I mean, there were those commercials with the mother holding out a plate of unwrapped Hostess snacks for the kids in the neighborhood.

Of course, the kids also had been running around playing and not sitting in front of a computer playing Halo for seven straight hours, so their little veins weren’t so clogged.

Anyway, I am a sucker for anything rare or “limited edition.” (Thus, the Beanie Babies still stuffed in a Rubbermaid tub in my attic.)

I was at a gas station last weekend, and I noticed Hostess snacks in the case outside. So, I grabbed Zingers, an apple pie and a cherry pie.

I wondered what the situation was on the shelves inside the store, so I went in. I casually walked by the shelf, and there were no Ding Dongs, no Twinkies, but one sack of those little waxy-chocolate-covered donuts that I do love, and some powdered ones.

A man and his wife grabbed some sort of cinnamon donuts I didn’t even know Hostess made.

“Better get one more bag before they’re gone, or before they’re made in MEXICO,” the man said.

I bought two bags of donuts. On the way to the checkout, I saw the chocolate cupcakes. The kind that the whole chocolate top peels off like a piece of plastic. Which it probably is.

I promptly went home and hid them in my closet.

My husband will not know that I did this until he reads it. I plan to get a glass of milk and eat some of these for old times’ sake.

To really go into a heavenly, bad-food delirium, I may make a deviled-ham sandwich and drink a Dr Pepper first.

Senior writer Tammy Keith can be reached at (501) 327-0370 or tkeith@arkansasonline.com.

Niche Publications Senior Writer Tammy Keith can be reached at 501-327-0370 or tkeith@arkansasonline.com.

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