LITTLE ROCK — Q. Yesterday, while I was at the mall with my daughter, I bought a sweater. When I took it out of the bag, my wife said, “Not another blue sweater!” I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I realize I have something that’s almost identical. Why would I do something like that and do you have a good excuse for me to keep it?
A. First I’m wondering if you want the new blue sweater not just because you like blue, but because it’s a different shade of blue or a different weight of sweater, or maybe you realize this kind of sweater is hard to find. If so, I can easily see why you might want it.
For many of us, clothes are more than just something to cover our bodies. When shopping, we consider what are the basics in our wardrobe for work and weekend and what are the extras. Often an indefinable something clinches the deal. Somehow, our clothes express our inner selves and values as well as our comfort level.
When we shop for something or when we select something to wear that’s already in our closet, various not-so-rational decision components come into play. Women have always been aware of this. They have categories of clothes for different occasions and for sending different messages: Businesslike, elegant, chic, sexy, soccer mom. Men, on the other hand, are usually less conscious of making such choices.
Just as the cars we drive are part of how we identify ourselves, so too are our clothes. An important part of how we define ourselves, they help us express our image. If we know how we want the world to see us, we can pretty much control the process by selecting clothes that send that message.
While many of our clothing decisions are on an unconscious level, some are deliberate. Color is a good example. After a certain number of years of looking in the mirror as well as getting feedback from others (compliments, in particular), most intelligent people have figured out what colors make them look their best. Then they decide to emphasize those flattering colors in their wardrobes and avoid other colors that either bring no positive response or that elicit such questions as, “Are you feeling OK?” or “Have you been sick?” These remarks are shorthand for, “You don’t look good in that color.”
Occasionally, our decisions about what to buy make little economic sense. We see an item we like; we may have one or two at home that are similar; we certainly don't need it; but still we buy it.Something about it triggers an inner need or desire, or maybe just a current whim. If the item is expensive - such as a suit - we should pause and think twice before making the big purchase. But if it is a small item and not too expensive, the cost can be easily ignored. Why not indulge our whim? Life is short. If buying something small and inexpensive brings us pleasure beyond the moment, there does not seem any compelling reason to resist.
For years, I have recommended buying more than one of the very same item as soon as you discover it is going to be a favorite. Unfortunately, by the time you realize the garment is one you are especially fond of, the store may be out of stock. In your case, that second sweater can serve as a backup (or a “jinx” against damaging your favorite), or it may be something you are more comfortable taking on trips, or wearing in situations where it may get damaged, knowing your security sweater is still intact.
I advise you to keep the sweater and don’t feel even the slightest bit guilty about it.
Send your questions for Male Call to:
High Profile, Pages 47 on 10/07/2012