LITTLE ROCK — Anyone craving catfish?
After dedicating the last few days to dissecting Notre Dame linebacker and Heisman Trophy finalist Manti Te’o’s fishy imaginary online relationship - with an imaginary Stanford student, Lennay Kekua, who was in an imaginary accident prior to an imaginary death from imaginary leukemia - all I can think about is a fillet basket with fries and hush puppies.
Catfish isn’t just what’s for dinner in these Southern parts.
It’s a term for social media scamming.
For an authoritative definition, we turn to our most trusted lexicon: Urbandictionary.com. (Wait, you mean some of the online contributions on here are imaginary and fabricated too?)
One definition: “A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not, using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.” Sentence: “Did you hear how Dave got totally catfished last month? The chick he thought he was talking to turned out to be a pervy guy from San Diego!”
Another definition: “A bottom feeder.” Same thing.
Catfish is also the name of a 2010 movie, as well as an MTV docudrama about folks who assume fake online personas with the purpose of hooking unsuspecting people into fake relationships. The man behind both is Nev Schulman, a victim of catfishing who had developed an online relationship with a twenty something, sexy “Megan,” only to learn she was really a schizophrenic, middle-aged mother of two named Angela.
Schulman now assists others in catching “catfish” on his show, and he’s also conducting an investigation in the Te’o case, Tweeting: “I have been in contact with the woman involved and will get the truth.” By woman, we can assume he doesn’t mean Kekua, the imaginary Stanford graduate (oh, yes, she got an imaginary degree between the imaginary accident and imaginary death from imaginary leukemia!), but whoever was pretending to be her. (Then again, that person could be a guy, according to Deadspin.com, which broke the tangled story. And Te’o - perhaps seeking sympathy or publicity prior to Heisman voting - could have been in on it.)
However this story plays out, it’s worth discussing: How does one avoid getting themselves cooked in a catfish scheme?
We found a list of Schulman’s warning signs on Dr. Phil’s website from a December show about catfishing.
“The modeling profession.” Models are perfectly capable of finding dates without resorting to random Internet relations. Anyone who looks like they belong in a magazine, well, probably does - and someone just cut out their picture.
“Facebook profiles.” Anyone with too few friends and no “tagged” friends in their photos should be no friend of yours.
“No pictures.” “No webcam.” Someone who won’t let you look at them probably isn’t the looker they’re pretending to be.
“Traumatic injuries and/or illness.” Made-up emergencies could be a cunning way to avoid meeting. After all, Kekua, whoever she or he was, claimed to be involved in both!
Or did Te’o have a part in concocting both?
What a fine kettle of catfish.
Fishing for your e-mail: jchristman@arkansasonline.com What’s in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman ’hood.
Style, Pages 21 on 01/22/2013