DEAR ABBY: My daughter was married recently and has been sending out thank you notes. When she checked her registry to determine if all her gifts had been accounted for, she saw that her stepbrother and his wife purchased a gift, but it was not mailed by the department store.
We’re assuming that it was brought to the wedding, but it’s nowhere to be found. How can we resolve this delicate situation? She wants to tell her sister-in-law, but she is concerned it might have been an oversight and be embarrassing. She plans to contact the wedding venue, but it has been three weeks and you’d think if something had been left behind that they would have contacted her.
We are also going to check with the friends who packed up the cars. Any other ideas? - Steve
DEAR STEVE: Because your daughter knows a gift was purchased by her stepbrother and his wife, she should ask them how it was to be delivered, because it might have been lost en route. Such things have been known to happen, which is why it is always wise to request that a merchant provide proof of delivery. That way the recipient signs for the package, and everyone is assured it didn’t “fall off the truck.”
I doubt the stepbrother and his wife, having gone to the expense of buying something, would have forgotten to give it to your daughter. I also doubt the couple who packed up the gifts would have overlooked one. As to the venue where the wedding was held, one would think that if a package had been left behind they would contact the family who rented the place, if only to protect their reputation.
DEAR ABBY: We recently moved to another neighborhood. Most of the residents are elderly. Our closest neighbors are a very nice couple in their 70s. We’ve gotten along well, but a problem has arisen and I’m not sure how to handle it. I am a keen do it-yourself enthusiast. When I get home from work at 2 p.m., I love to go into my workshop and work on one of the many projects I always have going. I’ll do this for a couple of hours, until my wife and kids get home. I admit, it probably gets a bit noisy with all the power tools, hammers, etc., and I usually leave the door open to let some air in.
My neighbor approached me today and told me his wife usually naps from 2 to 4 every afternoon, and the noise I make is disturbing her. Until he told me that, I had no idea their downstairs bedroom is only a few feet from our communal fence. (My workshop is right up against the fence.)
Would it be rude to suggest she find another time to nap or sleep in another room? I can’t imagine having to sit around and waste time every afternoon waiting for her to finish her nap, especially since she has most of the day to nap while I’m at work.
This doesn’t seem fair to me. My wife thinks I’m being a bit hard, so we agreed to accept your opinion on this.
- D.I.Y. Guy
DEAR D.I.Y. GUY: I’m pretty sure your neighbor’s wife takes her naps at the time of day when she needs one, and she would be unable to adjust her sleep schedule to accommodate you. However, your idea of suggesting she try sleeping in another part of the house so she won’t be disturbed is a good one.
Or you might agree to a compromise so she starts her mid-day rest period a little earlier, and you start your projects a little later. That way you would both get what you need.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.
High Profile, Pages 40 on 07/28/2013