Wow. The fantasy gifts in this year’s Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog are mind-boggling!
That exclusive Roland Mouret Dress in sizes 2 to 10, for $1,995! That Belstaff gal’s leather motorcycle jacket, size 2-12, $2,495! The guy’s quilted leather version, $3,295! The Fendi handbag, $7,200! The David Yurman bracelet, $19,500! A men’s down-filled silk jacket, $2,995! The very unmistakable message that redheads can indeed successfully wear red: Priceless!
“Wait,” you’re probably saying to yourself. “This is just clothing. The fantasy gifts are the airplanes and the suits of armor and the pah-tay for 20 of one’s closest friends at the Taj Mahal.”
Yeah, there are those. But c’mon. With the economy “in recovery,” the adjective “ fantasy” can pretty much be applied to this whole, big, thick catalog full of stuff, mostly clothing we either (a) can’t pay for, (b) can’t fit in or, most likely (c) both.
And a lot of the items for ladies is stuff we’d wear only a few times a year. I mean, $4,990 for a gown, size 10 tops, whose hem looks to have been unceremoniously whacked off. Oooookaaay.
Yes, these are the real fantasy gifts. We’d be a lot more likely to start jonesing for a butter-soft leather jacket, or a designer gown to wear to the Charity Ball, than for a 25-karat diamond (with diamond origin/facility tours) or a statue of Venus as a balloon toy. These are just a couple of the gifts touted as fantasy gifts, but which in reality are Too Expensive to Properly Be Fantasized About. C’mon, a lot of us just got back on the job after the gub’ment shutdown and can’t afford to even let our thoughts go wandering toward a hockey-pucksize diamond. We can afford to allow our minds to wander toward owning a $5,150 Bottega handbag or $4,000-plus, 14-karat gold Darth Vader or Yoda cuff links. There is, at least, some chance of owning such finery.
Not so much of a chance of owning:
A Bespoke Global Falconry Companion, $150,000. It comes complete with portable case, matching custom trunk, 20-karat gold-plated perch, hand-carved stands, leather perch scale and hand-sewn glove, anklet and exotic-skin hoods by Ken Hooke, a kickrear falconry hood maker; fancy foldout table and chairs by Richard Wrightman, who counts the king of Jordan among his clients; a backgammon board from Alexandra Llewellyn; a lead crystal decanter, and cigars with a cutter by David Linley. For that much money, they should throw in a few real falcons.
An overnight stay, $30,000, for the buyer and a guest in the Glass House, the New Canaan, Conn., weekend residence of architect and art patron Philip Johnson. A dinner party for 10 guests is thrown in, but I’d also want the right to throw stones.
His and hers Ultimate Outdoor Entertainment System - er, an underground 201-inch TV with surround sound and other bells and whistles that include Apple mini iPads as remotes - $1,500,000. He and she wouldn’t have to fight over a remote, they’d just have to fight about what’s on the TV.
Wild Child, a motorcycle by big time motorcycle maker Indian Larry, $750,000. This one has been hand-built for the Biker Build-Off series on the Discovery Channel (and was a winner). The guy who could afford it would have to be in a biker gang called the Sons of Monarchy.
A 2014 Aston Martin Vanquish Volante, $344,500, among 10 in the world. If I could afford to fantasize, it’d be about this baby.
Each fantasy gift is a gift for charity, with a portion of the proceeds being donated to organizations such as, well, the Heart of Neiman Marcus Foundation, which “brings enriching art experiences to local youth in communities worldwide.” Quite admirable. But, sigh, if only there was also a foundation that would identify and select a few hardworking, deserving Average Joes or Janes whose experience they could enrich by giving them one of those “real” fantasy gifts.
Until then, we’ll just toss the Neiman Marcus catalog over our shoulders and head for what, for so many of us, has become its year-round superior when it comes to fantasizing: Pinterest.
I dream of email: hwilliams@arkansasonline.com
Style, Pages 50 on 10/27/2013