Leave it to KFC, bird brains behind the layered infamous KFC Famous Bowl and the drastic Double Down sandwich - in which two deep-fried chicken patties act as bread - to come up with yet another fowl innovation.
And this one’s really got legs.
Chicken legs.
The KFC Chicken Corsage. (Our nickname: The Cluck-sage.)
Yes, the finger-licking floral wrist nosegay (nosegrease?) consists of delicate baby’s breath … and a drumstick in “Original Recipe, Extra Crispy or Kentucky Grilled Chicken. Whichever best matches her dress,” says the website of Kentucky-based Nanz & Kraft Florists (nanzandkraft.com/ gifts/kfc-chicken-corsage) crafters of the creation that must be ordered by Internet or phone, not drive-through.
“Looking for a corsage that will make your date’s eyes light up and her mouth water? This KFC drumstick corsage is the Secret Recipe to making sure this year’s dance will be one you both remember.”
Aroma: Floral notes. Blended with 11 herbs and spices.
Just what inspired this? My friend theorizes: “For all the girls who starve themselves before a formal event.”
This spring chicken is the perfect accessory for prom. If your high school - emphasis on “high” - is in Colorado.
And it’s a fitting Mother’s Day memento. If you’re a Here Comes Honey Boo Boo cast member. (Otherwise, expect the recipient to be madder than a wet hen.)
The cost of this for-the-birds bouquet is not quite chicken feed.
The price of the corsage is $20 (plus $8.95 shipping, at least to our downtown Little Rock ZIP code). And it doesn’t exactly come ready to wear - or ready to eat.
Says the site: “NOTE: Chicken not included (duh.). Each corsage kit includes a $5 KFC gift check, so you can customize your corsage. … Local corsages will have fresh baby’s breath and out-of-town corsages will have silk baby’s breath.”
(A call to a Little Rock KFC revealed the price of a drumstick to be about $2.50. So with that certificate, one could get an extra leg, or maybe some potato wedges. One might need sustenance when assembling fast-food florals.)
But don’t count the chicken legs before they hatch. The site stresses this is an exclusive offer that will soon fly the coop: “Don’t delay. Order today! Only a limited edition of 100 chicken corsages are available. Just like the last piece of chicken in the bucket, when they’re gone, they’re gone.” Way to make prospective buyers run around like chickens with their heads cut off.
What kind of boutonniere could a colonel junior wear to coordinate with his chicken-wearing chick?
Well, we recommend winging it, and fashioning one’s own Bites-onniere (made from KFC Original Recipe Bites), a Biscuit-onniere (made from a buttermilk biscuit) or a Love Me Tender-onniere (made from Extra Crispy Tenders).
Extra Crispy credit for anyone who designs a workable, nonmessy Famous Bowls-onniere of mashed potatoes, sweet corn, bite-size crispy chicken, gravy and shredded cheese.
No chickening out, email:jchristman@arkansasonline.com Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture.
Style, Pages 47 on 04/20/2014