MONEY MANNERS

DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: A while back, I repaid a friend the $100 I borrowed from him to cover my share of a birthday party we gave for another friend.

The problem is, I gave him cash, and he doesn't remember it, so he keeps asking me for the money. When I say he already has it, he doesn't believe me. What can I do to convince my friend that he has been repaid? I know the situation sounds ridiculous, but it's driving both of us crazy.

-- D.L.

DEAR D.L.: What? You didn't take a selfie of the two of you as you handed him the dough? Well, now you know. Next time you're repaying a loan, choose a repayment method that provides some documentation that the transaction occurred.

As things stand, all you can do is propose splitting the amount in dispute and giving him $50. If your friend thinks that's not enough, take consolation in knowing that you're not the first person to be faced with the unhappy choice of either paying a forgetful friend double what you owed or seriously straining the friendship.

DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: My sister's son "Graham" inherited money from my grandfather, but my kids and my two brothers' children didn't get anything. The only reason Graham was in Granddad's will is that he is the only one of the great-grandchildren who was born before Granddad died. While I'm happy for my nephew, I think it's unfair that one great-grandchild got an inheritance while the others did not. Shouldn't my mother's father have provided for his future great-grandchildren as well as for Graham?

-- Melanie

DEAR MELANIE: As they say, timing is everything.

Seriously, we see your point, and we sympathize. But was your grandfather so rich that it made sense for him to create a trust for the benefit of great-grandchildren as yet unborn at the time of his death? Those things cost money to establish and money to maintain, you know.

Also, didn't your grandfather provide for his children (including your mother) and his grandchildren (including you and your brothers)? Assuming he did, some benefit from your grandfather's estate has accrued to all of his great-grandchildren, just not as directly as it did to Graham.

Of course, there's nothing stopping you from taking into consideration in your own will any children of your children's children that may be as yet unborn at the time of your death. But not many people do, and your grandfather wasn't slighting your kids when he didn't either.

DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: If I stay only one night in a hotel room, should I leave a tip for the chambermaid, even though she's going to be cleaning the room for the next guest, not me? In other words, do I have to tip her -- or anyone else -- when no service has been rendered?

-- W.W.

DEAR W.W.: Yes, tip the chambermaid, because she has rendered you a service. You'll be tipping her for preparing the room for your arrival, not for cleaning it the day you leave. And don't worry if a different chambermaid gets the tip. These things even out.

Jeanne Fleming and Leonard Schwarz are the authors of Isn't It Their Turn to Pick Up the Check? Dealing With All of the Trickiest Money Problems Between Family and Friends (Free Press, 2008). Email them at

Questions@MoneyManners.net

Family on 08/13/2014

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