Vickey Dean said that in her opinion, the hardest thing about being a foster parent is saying goodbye to children when their stay is complete, whether they are reuniting with their parents or moving to another living situation.
“You are going to love those children, even when it’s for a short while,” she said. “Forming that bond with them can be hurtful,
knowing they’re going to be leaving soon. It’s important to be with people who know that pain when they leave and know that reward, and have loved them for whatever time God has allowed us to love them.”
Vickey’s husband, Charles Dean, is president of the Independence County Foster and Adoptive Parents Association, a nonprofit organization aimed at helping foster parents through emotional support, required ongoing training and immediate material needs such as clothes, diapers and formula for children who arrive with little to nothing of their own. On Sept. 6, the organization will have its annual dinner fundraiser to support the unique needs of foster families.
“The purpose of the organization is to support foster children and foster families throughout the county and the surrounding area,” he said. “We’ve provided for emergency needs for kids who have come into care. Just for example, a foster child we had was legally blind and had a profound sun sensitivity and had to have transitional lenses. Medicare wouldn’t provide those, so the foster association purchased those glasses to meet that need for her.”
The Deans have brought more than 20 children into their home in the three years they have been foster parents, and both Vickey and Charles said they have seen immediate benefits of being part of support organizations like the Independence County Foster and Adoptive Parents Association.
Erin Smith, a resource worker with the Department of Human Services, said there are 28 active foster homes in the county, but there are 94 Independence County children in foster care.
“Fifty-four of those children are placed out of county, whether it be in an emergency shelter, a private agency, or residential or group homes,” she said. “It’s about half of our kids out of county, which just makes everything extremely difficult for visits. We are trying to maintain that bond because the goal is reunification, so that bond is very important, and those visits are very important.”
Smith said foster children who are placed out of the county also have to cope with changing schools amid the tumultuous time with their families, and maintaining any stability while in foster care is important.
While taking foster children into one’s home is not for everyone, Smith said, more foster families are needed, and it is helpful to know that volunteer organizations are set up to help foster parents.
“Foster kids present a unique situation and sometimes very unique behaviors,” she said. “When you get a group together, someone in that group is going to have dealt with that behavior in the past and give you advice, and give you ideas on how to navigate that behavior.”
Charles said foster children are not bad kids. They just need time, attention and love as their families work on issues.
“They’ve come from extremely difficult situations, all of them,” he said. “DHS is not in the habit of removing kids from the home for small things; they have been in grave danger and immediate threat of harm. Just removing them from the home is traumatic to them, but there’s a perception by a lot of people that this is the children’s fault or that they are bad, flawed kids. They’re definitely kids who are hurting, but they’re normal kids.”
Smith said some of the issues foster parents face require time and energy, but they are not the children’s fault. Many children who are put into foster care do not know how to use a fork, Smith said, and others do not know how to brush their hair. Simple, everyday tasks are things foster children might need to learn when in a foster family’s care.
The Independence County Foster and Adoptive Parents Association hosts eight continuing-education meetings every year to provide support and ensure that foster families can remain active. Foster families need 15 hours of training to remain active, and each meeting provides two hours of training. Charles said churches in the area provide a meal for the meeting, and the organization pays for child care workers who have been through full background checks to watch over the kids. Generally, 20 adults and 50 to 60 children are in attendance at the meetings.
Vickey said the foster-parent association also helps children who “age out” of the system and need help getting established after their time as foster children. She said she has helped former foster children get set up at college or in their own apartments when their own families either are not able to help or are no longer in the picture.
The Independence County Foster and Adoptive Parents Association will have a fundraiser Sept. 6 to help address some of the foster families’ needs. Local ministry John 3:16 will provide fish and chicken dinners at
Riverside Park in Batesville from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Meals cost $7, and the money will be used to meet those needs. Charles said the organization will also accept additional donations at that time.
For more information about the Independence County Foster and Adoptive Parents Association, contact Charles Dean at (870) 834-3625. For more information about foster care needs in Independence County, contact Erin Smith at (870) 698-1876, ext. 102.
Staff writer Angela Spencer can be reached at (501) 244-4307 or aspencer@arkansasonline.com.