'Blue Christmas' services provide comfort

Several churches in the state are planning candlelight services for those grieving or having a difficult time during the Christmas season. Known as “Blue Christmas” services the goal is to offer a place of comfort.
Several churches in the state are planning candlelight services for those grieving or having a difficult time during the Christmas season. Known as “Blue Christmas” services the goal is to offer a place of comfort.

For those grieving the death of a loved one or struggling through divorce or job loss, Christmas can be a difficult time. Some churches in Arkansas are offering special worship services for those who find the season less than jolly.

First United Methodist Church in Rogers has been offering a "Longest Night" service for several years. The Rev. Sandra Wanasek, associate pastor, said expectations during the holiday season -- from Thanksgiving through the start of a new year -- are high.

"Everyone is supposed to be so jolly and happy and all of those things are really worth being happy about, but for some who struggle with depression all their lives or whose loved ones won't get any better, for people whose marriages are on the rocks ... there [are] all kinds of issues that the happiness of the season doesn't change," Wanasek said.

After the tree and the lights are taken down, the sadness and loss remain.

"It's still going to be what it is and you can see in some faces that kind of sad look," she said. "It's just a hard time for people."

The congregation began offering the service to provide a place of solace and comfort. This year's gathering will be at 7 p.m. Sunday in the church's newly renovated chapel and will include music, prayer and candle lighting. The church is at 307 W. Elm St.

Wanasek said it's not an extremely popular service but those who attend have shared their appreciation for it. She said the church's Stephen Ministers, lay members trained to provide one-on-one care to those who are grieving or having a difficult time, put together the service and will speak about memories, faith, hope and love.

"A person almost can feel guilty [for] feeling sad," Wanasek said. "People have said that -- 'I should be happy. Everyone around me is happy.' It's just a hard time."

First Presbyterian Church in Little Rock is one of several in the state offering a "Blue Christmas" service. The goal is the same as that of the "Longest Night" service -- to be a balm to those who are hurting.

The Rev. Marie Mainard O'Connell said it's the church's first such service and she is looking forward to it. The service will be at 6 pm. Monday at 800 Scott St. and a light dinner will follow.

"I feel that a Blue Christmas service is an important somber note to hit within the Christmas season," she said. "I personally feel as though our acknowledgement of what is happening in and to the world is not complete if we don't also acknowledge the holiday season, Christmas in particular, is hard for a lot of people, especially those who have experienced grief or are mourning over a death. So many struggle with depression or feelings of acceptance within their own family."

O'Connell said she invited the youth group, Diverse Youth for Social Change, to participate and help create music and written reflections for the service. The group is part of the Center for Artistic Revolution, which is housed in the church basement. The group advocates for gay, bisexual and transsexual individuals.

"We are very much aware that people who are gay or lesbian or who identify differently from the rest of their family -- whether sexually or not -- often experience the holidays as a time of great stress or rejection from their family," O'Connell said. "This is an opportunity to place that specific sort of suffering within the Christmas story."

The service will include music, prayers for healing and Communion and will be a come-as-you-are event.

"My hope is that people hearing these reflections from others on why they might feel blue might hear something from their own story in that reflection and feel they are not alone," O'Connell said. "We don't have to pretend everything is fine and dandy and full of jingle bells. The sadness of season is why God came. The service highlights that in a way that sometime other services do not."

Information on the service at First United Methodist Church in Rogers is available by email at fumcrogers@sbcglobal.net or by calling (479) 631-7997. Information about the service at First Presbyterian Church in Little Rock is available by calling (501) 372-1804.

Religion on 12/20/2014

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