Spin Cycle

Clooney put a ring on it, and it made her 'fascinating'

George Clooney and his most fascinating wife, Amal, were married in an Italian civil ceremony in September.
George Clooney and his most fascinating wife, Amal, were married in an Italian civil ceremony in September.

Dictionary.com definition of fascinating: "Of great interest or attraction; enchanting; charming; captivating."

Barbara Walters' definition of fascinating: "Marries well."

Or so we can conclude from Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People of 2014 special on ABC last Sunday.

The person designated most fascinating? Amal Alamuddin.

Wait, who?

Amal Alamuddin Clooney. Ring a bell now? She's married to that Oceans Eleven and Twelve and Thirteen guy. (Best headline on the event by The Business Woman Media gone viral: "Internationally acclaimed barrister Amal Alamuddin marries an actor.")

Since 1993, Walters has selected one most fascinating person of the year. Past honorees have included revolutionaries like Nelson Mandela (1994), missionaries like Mother Teresa (1998) and presidents like Barack Obama (2008).

But brides? Excluding first ladies like Hillary Rodham Clinton (1993, and chosen again in 2003 and 2013), Laura Bush (2002) and Michelle Obama (2009), that has never been one of Babs' categories. Even fascinator-wearing Kate Middleton wasn't crowned most fascinating when she was crowned Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge in 2011 upon marrying Prince William in a widely watched wedding; the honor went to Apple co-founder Steve Jobs.

So why Amal?

Never mind that the trilingual (English, Arabic, French), Oxford-educated Amal, 36, is a dual-qualified English barrister and New York litigation lawyer specializing in human rights, extradition (she represented WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange in 2011 during his fight against extradition to Sweden) and criminal law.

That's not why Walters deemed her fascinating.

We'll let Walters drool, I mean, delineate: "This is Amal Alamuddin, George Clooney's beautiful bride. You could say hers was the wedding of the year.

"But let's put it into perspective: It was really one of the greatest achievements in human history."

Yes. She said that, likening a four-day wedding celebration and a short civil ceremony at Venice City Hall in Italy to the first flight, or space travel, or the Berlin Wall falling or the ending of apartheid.

Amal is "of great interest or attraction; enchanting; charming; captivating" all because she tamed longtime bachelor Clooney, who told Walters in 1995, "I'm never going to get married again because I wasn't very good at it." And she did so wearing a hand-embroidered Oscar de la Renta gown. "Perfect" cooed Walters, who wondered aloud, "What does it take to fascinate one of the most fascinating men in the world?"

It was as if the mostly retired Walters, the first woman to co-anchor a network evening newscast, had forgotten all about her past life as a pioneer for women in television and started corresponding for the E! Network. Speaking of E! Network, former show host Chelsea Handler was also deemed fascinating this year, as was singer Taylor Swift; former football player and TV personality Michael Strahan; billionaire David Koch; no description needed Oprah Winfrey; entrepreneur Elon Musk; novelist George R.R. Martin (Game of Thrones); actor Neil Patrick Harris; and actress Scarlett Johansson.

At least we'd get a better sense of what Walters saw in Amal during their sit-down interview about what kind of tree she would be. After all, we've never actually heard Amal talk, except in a less than fascinating random YouTube video. Topic: "Egypt: Separating Law and Politics -- Challenges to Independence of Judges and Prosecutors."

Oh, wait, Amal did not do an interview for the two-hour special? And therefore Walters has never heard her speak either?

Now that's fascinating.

Enchanting? Charming? Captivating? Email:

jchristman@arkansasonline.com

Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture.

Style on 12/21/2014

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