In the spirit of the holiday, and only for that reason, I wish today to fire upward arrows exclusively.
Editors needn’t concern themselves with inserting the actual arrows. We stipulate on this day before Christmas, if only on this day, that all ensuing honorees are recipients of—indeed worthy of—upward arrows.
There is good in us all. Let us search hard for it and celebrate its rare discovery.
Mike Beebe—His victorious farewell tour continues, and his Teflon coating remains unblemished. The prisons may be an overcrowded mess. The Human Services Department may encounter the occasional debacle. Juvenile detention may have been abusive. The state computer services department may have run amok. Hog waste inches toward a national river. No matter. The departing governor fades to the setting of the sun over Searcy, acknowledged as the master of all he has long surveyed. We’re going to miss him. I raise a glass of cabernet franc and offer a toast to talent and Teflon.
Asa Hutchinson—He gave an interview to an alternative weekly and revealed that he plays the trumpet and enjoys pickup basketball. His nephew, state Sen. Jeremy Hutchinson, declared him a wise and noble patriarch. And that’s good enough for me—for today, at least.
Tom Cotton—He is a man of principle. What those principles are is a matter for lamentation and horror another day.
French Hill—I saw him the other night at a seasonal function attended mostly by Democrats and found him personably at ease. As a congressman, he’ll do just fine to get a passport request processed expeditiously.
John Boozman—He voted for Ted Cruz’s pointless anti-immigration stunt on the spending bill, which just goes to show that … well … even a very nice man can lose his way once in a while. Let’s give thanks that his heart is mended and his weight reduced.
Charlie Daniels—This amiable fellow has served in state government since 1975—as labor commissioner, land commissioner, secretary of state and auditor, performing competently in all roles and staying out of trouble for the most part. He gets no victorious farewell tour as the Republican tidal wave crashes behind him. But he does warrant a pat on the back and a wish for happy and healthy retirement.
Richard Weiss—Director of finance and administration for state government under four governors, three Democrats and a Republican, he now warms up the motor home for retirement nomadism. It is a testament to Asa Hutchinson’s bravery that he will attempt the governorship without him.
Tim Griffin—Hmmm … still thinking. OK. There is this: He said he would hire only two employees in his forthcoming role as lieutenant governor, and he has indeed announced plans to hire only two. That he makes three—and that that’s three too many in an office proved pointless by its extended vacancy this year—is for consideration in another season.
Mike Huckabee—Hmmm … still thinking … and still thinking. Remind me to delete this paragraph. Just kidding. If he wanted, he could take that populism and personality into a Republican presidential race and scare the heck out of Prince Jeb.
Bret Bielema—A 6-6 record and a bowl trip make for a merry Christmas. A 6-7 record with a fresh loss to Texas — that’s an unhappy bridge to 2015 that we’ll cross if we must.
Arkansas Democrats—If you lined them up, they’d stretch all the way to the Pulaski County line. The advantage of rock bottom is that it is a starting place.
Voices page correspondents—Without them, I’d just write longer. And you don’t want that.
Me—I had two good columns this year. They were the ones about Bill Clinton stopping by to visit Dale Bumpers and the life and style of departed banker Bill Bowen. The other 206 were solid reasons to appreciate those gems in the dirt.
John Brummett’s column appears regularly in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Email him at jbrummett@arkansasonline.com. Read his blog at brummett.arkansasonline.com, or his @johnbrummett Twitter feed.