Folksy bar, first-class burger

Satchemo's Bar & Grill does not in any way derive its moniker from Louis Armstrong's nickname, "Satchmo," but from Peggy Evans' nickname, "Satchemo."

It was created, says owner Joy Evans, "by my dad for my late mother," whose unframed portrait hangs prominently on the business' eastern wall with an accompanying memorial marker. (Mama Evans died in 2002.)

Satchemo's Bar & Grill does not in any way derive its moniker from Louis Armstrong's nickname, "Satchmo," but from Peggy Evans' nickname, "Satchemo."

It was created, says owner Joy Evans, "by my dad for my late mother," whose unframed portrait hangs prominently on the business' eastern wall with an accompanying memorial marker. (Mama Evans died in 2002.)

It is probably the most grounded element in this quirky establishment's quirky decor. Satchemo's is definitely not an upscale bar, certainly not in the way its predecessor-but-one in the location, the rather classy Star Bar, was. (We for some reason never got around to even setting foot in the Twelve Modern Lounge, which occupied the space in the interim.)

In fact, if we had to guess, we'd say the owners deliberately downscaled the place. It's mostly a sports bar that on weekends becomes a music venue (karaoke on Friday nights, bands most Saturdays).

There are several long tables in the main dining room designed to encourage communal consumption; a couple of four-tops for those feeling a little less communal; and a handful of two-tops for folks who'd really like to get cozy and don't mind not having room for more than one or two dishes at a time.

The side room has a couple of pool tables and additional seating at tiny banquette-bench tables. What looked like a lavish lounge at the back turned out to be the entrance to the women's restroom. (We don't normally include the restrooms in the review, but the men's room, a Star Bar leftover, is pretty posh.)

The place is also sort of semi-deliberately dim -- in the daytime, a big gout of natural light pours through the door that fronts onto Third Street (use, however, the rough, tough side door with the cave-like entryway to actually enter), but in the evening many tables are practically twilit.

A couple of big-screen TVs show, soundlessly, anything from sports programming to The People's Court, depending, we'd guess again, according to the whim of the staff. The soundtrack must also obey somebody's whim; on one lunch visit it was uptempo pop-rock; on another, Christmas songs and carols sung by pop stars and kids' choirs.

The walls display various forms of sports symbolism, paraphernalia and memorabilia (including one that's pretty much exclusively a Razorback wall). Even quirkier stuff is wedged into or hanging from the ceiling (we won't spoil any potential surprises for you, but it's a pretty eclectic and whimsical mix).

The menu is more upscale than the surroundings, but just as quirky, perhaps. For example, we passed on the Satchemo's Meatloaf Cupcakes appetizer ($6), in part because of the name of the dish and in part because according to the menu it involves "GutBuster's Famous Meatloaf recipe." (We made a New Year's resolution several years ago that we would never eat anything or anywhere that involved the word "gutbuster." If you're tempted, you can also get the same meatloaf in the $7 Satchemo's Meatloaf Sandwich.)

Satchemo's appetizers are sized, and priced, to share. That was definitely the case with Sassy's Salsa ($5), which arrived in a red plastic sombrero-shaped server with a deeper-than-we-thought central salsa bowl surrounded by a vast number of food-service-supplied tortilla chips, wedge-shaped, fresh and crisp but slightly over-salted. The tomato-and-pepper salsa had just the right amount of cilantro (if you like cilantro) and seemed fairly mild at first dip but became cumulatively mouth-searing the more dips we took.

We were enjoined, or perhaps pressured, by previously satisfied Satchemo's customers, to try the housemade Pulled Pork Egg Rolls ($8), wrapping pulled pork, jalapenos, onions and baked beans with barbecue sauce in and on top, bias-cut and served on a bed of coleslaw. We had some texture issues with the baked beans, which made the interior alternately chewy (pork) and mushy (beans), but we enjoyed the flavor.

The half-dozen logs in the deep-fried Big Cheese ($7) were definitely made in the kitchen, not by a food service. In fact, they looked more egg-roll-like than the egg rolls, a firm, crunchy shell surrounding a yellow cheddar (or cheddar-seeming cheese product) supposedly with a hint of jalapenos, although we couldn't particularly taste them. Possibly the spice mix (primarily chili powder, and not mentioned on the menu) that dusted the exterior might have overwhelmed it; it inspired Intrepid Companion to leave most of them on the plate. The same, or a very similar, spice mix dusts the $2 side fries we got with a couple of our sandwich choices.

Satchemo's serves many of those sandwiches with a knife plunged deep into the top, looking for all the world like the sword King Arthur had to withdraw from the stone. Intellectually we realized it's to provide a method by which customers can cut large sandwiches in half and that bringing it out that way avoids any chance the knife will fall on the floor en route. Our first reaction, though, was that the kitchen had stabbed the sandwiches to keep them from escaping.

That notwithstanding, we're willing to recommend all four sandwiches we tried. Best of the batch is the Satchemo's Butter Burger, one of the area's best burgers for the bucks ($6, add $1 for cheese, something the menu doesn't reflect, either). It's a hefty butter-infused patty on a roll (not a bun), topped with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, mustard and mayonnaise. The kitchen will gladly hold off any of those ingredients on request; we ate and admired our burger with just mustard and pickles.

The Rock Island Chicken Sandwich ($9) definitely tasted better than it looked, a huge chicken breast "marinated in our special seasoning" grilled with pineapple and pepper jack cheese on a roll with lettuce, tomato and onion.

Pork fans can pig out on the Three Little Pigs ($9), a roll that doesn't quite contain the pulled pork, grilled ham and bacon -- improbably and very messily, but tastily, piled with fresh onions, jalapenos, slaw and barbecue sauce.

The more you enjoy blue cheese, the more likely you are to enjoy the Stifft Station Cheese Sam'mich ($6), since that far and away dominates the flavor over the cheddar, pepper Jack, parmesan and grilled tomatoes that ooze out of two slices of grilled Texas toast. It didn't come with a knife in its heart -- the kitchen had already cut it in half, which made it a deal less messy to handle.

You might think a salad is a "healthier" alternative to the fried stuff on the menu, but the portion size of our Rock Island Salad ($8) -- lettuce mix, grilled chicken, grilled pineapple, shredded cheese, tomato, cucumbers, onions, avocado and croutons -- was simply overwhelming. Intrepid Companion took home two-thirds of it.

We were most impressed by the service staff, lunch and dinner, who couldn't have been friendlier or wanted more to please.

Weekend on 12/25/2014