So what is your love language?

I have lived for 51 years without knowing what my “love language” is, but now I do.

I kept hearing about this, even from my brother, who said he had a conversation with some nurses about it. He knew that his wife’s love language was quality time.

It’s a book, but there’s a quiz you can take online. I stumbled across it while I was on my iPhone, so I took the “test.” I thought it was pretty shallow.

My “love-language” results were Acts of Service, No. 1, with a score of 11. The most you can score is 12. That means that I consider acts of service as the way people show love for me, and the way I show love to them.

Coincidentally, I was sitting on the couch while my husband wrapped Christmas presents. I was a happy woman.

I was surprised that Receiving Gifts, one of the other categories, wasn’t on my list. I scored zero. And I love to shop. I guess I buy my own gifts, and I like giving them more than receiving. Basically, it seemed like every question was about whether you wanted a gift, or something else. Plus, it did not say what this gift was. If I have to choose between hanging out with my husband and getting an all-expenses-paid trip to a tropical island with a massage thrown in, see ya later, baby.

I read a question out loud that involved a person putting down his/her phone at the table. Just the other night, my husband said, “Well, you almost did it.” When I asked what he meant, he said, “Got through a meal without picking up your cellphone.”

Yikes. I don’t do it at home, but I usually have it close by at a restaurant. I told him I’d stop doing that.

I handed my husband my phone and asked him to take the survey. He complained the whole time: “I need more information.” “It depends.” “Hmm.” “That’s never gonna happen.”

I told him this was the SAME survey everybody else who knows their love language takes, so just shut up and take it.

His results were Quality Time first, closely followed by Words of Affirmation. I think I’m in trouble.

“Actions don’t always speak louder than words,” the survey results said. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words ‘I love you’ is important — hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirit skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging and positive words are truly life-giving.”

Well, we both do like to be together — even if it’s just sitting on the couch while he’s working on his laptop and I’m watching stupid reality TV.

But the words of affirmation are a bit of a problem. I’m not the best at that. I’ve never been the romantic type that gushes or leaves sweet notes. That’s his thing. I’m going to work on it.

The night before Thanksgiving, I came home to find he’d put up the Christmas tree, decorated the mantel, hung the stockings, set the table with Christmas dishes, and supper was cooking in the oven.

That’s love in any language, and he’s a keeper.

Senior writer Tammy Keith can be reached at (501) 327-0370 or tkeith@arkansasonline.com.

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