WHAT’S IN A DAME

If colors clash, so will you, love bug

Hey, baby, what’s your color?

Colors reveal our character and predict relationship harmony if the book Colorstrology: What Your Birthday Color Says About You by Michele Bernhardt ($19.95, Quirk Books) is to be believed.

Instead of categorizing people as Capricorn, Scorpio or Libra, this book labels them as hues like Canyon Rose (Jan. 8), Sea Fog (Sept. 25) and Little Boy Blue (July 29).

Bernhardt, billed as a “respected astrologer and metaphysician,” together with Pantone, billed as “the global authority on color,” assigned 366 birthday and 12 month colors that illustrate personality.

“Just as certain astrological signs have a natural affinity for one another, so do colors,” says the book’s introduction. “Some colors clash, while others are complementary. … A favorite color can change as you grow and evolve, and often does. It can be influenced by outside stimuli and opinions. Your birth color, however, is a constant. It is a key that connects your inner and outer worlds.”

Surely they jest?

Oh no, they Jester Red.

That’s the birthday color of someone born on Nov. 5. Three positive character traits that Colorstrology claims defines such a person are “entertaining, quick, intelligent.” Such a person is cautioned against the “trappings of overthinking.”

I’ll try to avoid the same while surveying this capricious, curious and certainly colorful book. And I’ll try not to throw shade.

Then again, I’m a Forest Shade (birthday June 29). My keywords are “emotional, quick, private,” with the book adding, “Quick and articulate, you are known for your sense of humor.” Not completely off base.

The same cannot be said for the dusty green the book says will benefit me: “Your personal color resonates with peace and assurance. Wearing, meditating or surrounding yourself with Forest Shade promotes growth.” Kind of like mold, which just so happens to have the same tint as Forest Shade.

But as the introduction says, “Some people, however, may not be particularly fond of their color. Always be as open and honest as possible about how you respond to the colors.”

As for my June monthly color, it’s a “radiant, intellectually energizing and uplifting” Aspen Gold. Says the book, it “can enhance articulation and verbal dexterity - words seem to flow easily when this color is in view.”

Funny, I’ve been staring at that sunshiny page for a good while now, and this column still isn’t finished.

Colorstrology encourages readers to use the handy perforated color swatches in the back of the book to keep their birthday and monthly colors with them while traveling and shopping: “You can incorporate your color into your life through art, clothing or decor. See how it evokes specific thoughts, emotions and feelings.

“Hang a picture or wear a scarf, eye shadow or lipstick.”

Right, Forest Shade green lipstick. Maybe on St. Patrick’s Day. While we’re on the subject, March 17 is not assigned a fitting Shamrock, Kiwi or even Lettuce birthday color, but Violet Tulle. Those born on Valentine’s Day will find their birthday color is not Rapture Rose or Fiery Red, but Vista Blue. The birthday color for July 4 is not red, white or blue, but rather Lily Green. Dec. 25 did get a holiday-appropriate color: Hunter Green.

Each birthday color is given three - and only three - color-compatible birthdays. For example, I will gel with people of the birthday colors Blue Surf (Jan. 22), Virtual Pink (April 16) and Lavender Violet (Nov. 29). Does that mean I will never jibe with the many people born the other 362 days of the year? Can I not find any common ground with a Deep Mint (May 14), a Beetroot Purple (April 6) or a Bok Choy (Sept. 28)?

Most importantly, do I have to break up with my boyfriend? (“But I’m a Forest Shade, and you’re a Pale Mauve - this relationship is just not color-coordinated! I can’t give you what you need. Find an Orchid Bouquet, a Baked Apple or a Purple Haze.”) Show your true colors, email: jchristman@arkansasonline.com What’s in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman ’hood.

Style, Pages 25 on 02/11/2014

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