Andrea Zekis is someone you don’t see every day. She’s a cartographer with the highway department. She recently converted to Judaism and is an amateur stilt-walker. She’s compassionate and understanding, saying, “I try to be an authentic person whenever I talk to anybody.” But the aspect of herself Zekis spoke about last Friday was her gender identity, because among everything else Zekis is, she’s a transgender Arkansan.
Zekis led a conversation last week at Congregation B’Nai Israel, a temple in Little Rock, as part of the Human Rights Campaign’s Summer of Conversations. The HRC, for which Zekis is a consultant, has made a call for these conversations in three states: Arkansas, Alabama and Mississippi.
Conversations like the one Zekis led can be nerve-racking, as even the most well-meaning individuals can be tactless when discussing LGBT issues. Zekis offered some advice for people who want to have meaningful conversations.
“If someone is unsure about what gender to say,” Zekis says, “ask and don’t make assumptions. And to just say, ‘Hi, nice to meet you.’ I may not go into complete detail about some of the aspects of my life or my anatomy, but I would like to be seen as a person and other people like to be seen as [people]. You know, really it’s the golden rule.”
A year after transitioning, Zekis converted to Judaism. She started listening to herself and heard all sorts of things. “I think I’m Jewish,” was a big one. Zekis’ family is scattered across the religious spectrum, her father being Catholic, her mother, Lutheran, and her two brothers, atheist and agnostic. She converted from a non-affiliated Christian background.
“I became a woman because I felt that there was something missing in my life that I needed to pay attention to,” Zekis says. “In the same respect as being Jewish, those are both parts of my life that should have been there from the beginning. I am the person I’m supposed to be, it just happened to be in my 30s. Better late than never.”
The HRC’s Summer of Conversations are not specifically for focusing on LGBT issues. The idea is to get people in communities talking to each other, since it’s often better for people to let conversations about gender and sexuality develop organically. The conversations also aim to allow people to “come out” as supporters of LGBT neighbors and family.
“Conversations go a long way to helping people understand,” Zekis says. “Communities can’t be more inclusive if these conversations don’t happen.”
For more information about the Summer of Conversations, visit HRC.org.