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Floating out in cyber space, secured to reality by 'pins'

Well, I've picked on Linked­ In, Facebook ... Guess it's time to pick on Pinterest, that mother of all wish/dream list enablers.

Pinterest, the online destination for "pinning" places one would like to visit, homes one would like to own, clothes one would like to wear and food one would like to eat ... and then sitting back and hoping that said things will come and somehow drop into one's lap.

Oh, that's not the case with you, you say? You use Pinterest for planning; for locating items; for showing the wares you sell? That's nice.

But for some, Pinterest is the perfect "Hey, bring your beer/water budget to assuage your champagne tastes" location. Which may be a cut or two above scrolling friends' Facebook posts and feeling as though life is passing one by.

For those who don't know how it works, Pinterest affords you online "boards," which you break into categories, and to which you pin pictures of stuff. Pinterest is like Twitter in that you follow other people's boards and other people follow your boards. And you will never, ever, reach the bottom of your home page.

Other people can pin things to your boards, just like your Facebook friends can post on your wall. So if you neglect to go on Pinterest for a while, then check back in, you may not even recognize your list. Wait, did I pin a diagram of flowers to plant to help save bees? No, that was Pam. Coffee ice cube in cold milk? Pam, and hey, neat! I also have Pam to thank for a photo of Idris Elba and a heckload of cat pictures. An image of a bowl of Bacon Cheddar Cauliflower Soup? Oh, I pinned that.

The aforementioned adorn my "Innerestin' Stuff board." On to my Sci-fi! board, dominated by Star Trek images -- the lone exception being a photo of Padme Amidala in Star Wars II, hair in early Patti LaBelle mode. And there's "My future home," bearing mostly historic houses; "My future travels," dominated by beach scenes around the world; and an inspirational board with Biblical quotations.

My Pinterest home page proudly presents me with things pinned by people whose boards I follow, along with people whose boards I don't remember following (who the heck is Mrs. French?). Images include "Jen's Pirate Booty Gauze Low Back Tank" (which is too short and small, exposes too much skin and with which the model's booty is scantily clad in a bikini bottom); an iPhone case depicting Star Wars' Han Solo back when he was encased in that carbonite (Uh, well ...) and a divine reminder, via Isaiah 41:10-13 (OK, I guess I needed that).

All of this would be fine if Pinterest didn't treat me like a total space cadet. There's my friend's profile photo and name, along with her comment. Fine. But then there's my profile photo and name, behind which Pinterest advises, "That's you!" (Oh really? I thought it might have been my doppelganger/evil twin/Parallel Universe Helaine!)

But this form of social media does have advantages over other forms, especially Facebook.

• It's hard to get into trouble when you're just pinning things (unless you're pinning porn or plots against the government, which are likely to come with quick repercussions).

• At least so far, nobody's spying on you, changing the look of your boards every couple of months or secretly monitoring your emotional reactions to images of Helen Corbitt's Neiman Marcus Chicken Salad.

• The settings/security/privacy options are about 268 pages shorter.

• No political ads. Or am I speaking too soon?

Then again, all the social media outlets seem to be awfully chummy with each other, enabling users to link one social-media account with another. Which makes me wonder if it'll all merge into one big online place to post wish-list pictures, rants, memes and resumes, in various categories and in 140 characters/images or less.

Until then ... Hey, there's another cute Captain Kirk image!

Pin the email on the columnist:

hwilliams@arkansasonline.com

Style on 07/20/2014

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