Rx: Hands off, fella!

It may be the best-written cutline of the year

"Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?"

--Indiana Jones

Critters are all over the news these days, at least all over the Arkansas news. What can you expect from The Natural State, anyway? Here are a few examples of just how natural the Natural State can be:

According to one story, the number of rabies cases this year is double last year's. Which is yet another reason not to get too close to an Arkansas skunk. Or any skunk.

Folks are raising more'n more chickens in their backyards these days, and reporters are following the fad.

The dates for this year's duck season(s) just came out.

Another town--this time it's Hot Springs Village--is thinking about a limited bow hunt this fall to thin the deer herd.

And fleas, for goshsakes, just shut down the courthouse in Ashdown last week. No doubt about it, critters are getting a lot of pub. Even the littlest ones.

All of which brings us to Buddy Gough's story in the Features section of Monday's paper. While the story about snakes in Arkansas was fascinating, and one more reason to get every paper during the week, not just Sunday's, the cutline appearing under the main picture may have been the best of the year. Thumbs up to the Features staff. (Cutline is journalese for the caption under a photograph or some other illustration in the paper.)

Buddy Gough's story tried to point out that snakes in Arkansas aren't really out to eat us all. The story used statistics to make its point. For example, not even 130 people were bitten by snakes in Arkansas last year, even though an awful lot of us tromp through the snakes' habitat year after year. (Sure, the statistics may say snake bites are rare, but in our experience, a snake doesn't have to bite you to send you to the hospital. One that slithers past you in the garden could make you break a hip.)

The cutline under the picture of a mean-looking snake said: "Timber rattlers are shy animals. While it is possible to acquire a snakebite through no fault of your own, statistics suggest the most popular method is to (1) get liquored up, (2) find a snake and (3) poke it or grab it."

It also helps to be a male version of the species homo sapiens--that is, the less intelligent version. Or at least the less cautious one.

"In any given year," says Howell Foster, of the state's Poison Control Center, "about half the bites happen to people who were handling the snakes." And the victims tend to be young men--and the statisticians list alcohol consumption as a Common Contributing Factor. ("Y'all watch this here.")

The moral of the story, which may need to be repeated to the young again and again before they get old: Snakes will still bite you no matter how many beers you've had. Leave them alone.

Also, this ain't the movies: If bitten, experts say don't cut the wound, don't put your bacteria-filled human mouth on the wound to try to suck the venom out like in the westerns. The best way to treat a snake bite is with car keys: Get thee to a hospital and let the experts do their expert thing.

Better yet, if you have to be young and male, just don't handle snakes.

Come to think, maybe only the young and male need to be told that.

Editorial on 07/24/2014

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