Q. My girlfriend and I are invited to two weddings next month. They are both "black tie," and she is excited about getting dressed up. She has made more than one comment in the past about guys not dressing up for special events. One wedding will be in a church and the other, a country club. I don't own a tuxedo, but I do have a formal white dinner jacket. Do I need to rent a tux, or is my jacket appropriate for a black-tie wedding? If so, what do I wear with it?
A. I am generally very opposed to adults renting tuxedos and, therefore, very pleased that you have the white dinner jacket option. Every aspect of black-tie dressing says "elegance." With your girlfriend resplendent in her most elegant gown or newest cocktail dress, one should not rent his black-tie outfit.
If there is one area of men's dress where the rules are conveniently strict and prescribed, it is in black-tie dressing. Whether you call it a dinner suit, evening clothes, formal wear, dinner jacket, black tie, or a tuxedo, it all means the same thing. It all adds up to black and white dressing.
Black-tie dressing is one step down from the most formal of men's attire, "white tie and tails." With an invitation for black tie, you have only a few options. You can go with the traditional all-black "evening suit" (aka tuxedo), or the somewhat unusual option, a midnight blue tuxedo. Or, if the event is between Memorial Day and Labor Day, you can properly wear a white dinner jacket.
Technically, the white dinner jacket is a very small step less formal than the all-black combination, but it is widely accepted for all except the most elegant and prestigious occasions, such as an event at the White House. For most mortals, it is absolutely acceptable for a summer black-tie wedding.
Your white dinner jacket has a few advantages. First, it is extremely flattering. Second, it is somewhat different from the normal, allowing you to stand out a bit from the crowd while still maintaining a correct propriety. Third, you already own it.
Everything else that you would wear with an all-black evening suit, you wear with your white jacket.
SHIRT
A formal shirt always has French cuffs and is worn with cuff links. Studs are also part of the protocol, rather than buttons. The only totally correct formal shirt for black tie is one with a standard turned-down point collar. The dressier wing collar is correctly reserved for "white tie and tails." But the wing collar is so flattering that it has become very popular with black-tie dressing.
TROUSERS
Black formal trousers have a fabric ribbon that runs down the outside of the leg. A note on formal trousers: This is the one time when cuffs are never worn. The style of wearing cuffs originated in England. They were called "turn ups." They resulted from a man's turning up the bottoms of his trousers to protect them from soiling as he walked around his country estate. Accordingly, men wore cuffs on their tweedy suits, but not on their formal evening wear.
SUSPENDERS
Referred to as "braces" in upscale stores, they are always worn with formal trousers, never a belt. Braces are attached with buttons. As with bow ties, avoid childish clip-on styles.
BOW TIES
They should be black and made of silk satin or grosgrain (pronounced grow grain).
CUMMERBUNDS
These are worn with the pleats facing up, originally intended to catch stray crumbs at dinner. Or to hold your opera tickets (depending on which story you believe).
POCKET HANDKERCHIEF
A simple white linen or white cotton is best.
BOUTONNIERE
A purely optional accessory, a boutonniere should never be too large or showy.
SOCKS
Those worn with evening clothes are always black to-the-calf or over-the-calf. Ideally, they should be silk but any lightweight fabric will do.
SHOES
The correct shoe to wear with formal garb is so far from what most men -- particularly young ones -- can conceive of wearing that I feel obliged to offer an alternative. The correct formal shoe is a black patent-leather low-cut slip-on with a flat ribbon bow; it is known as "a dancing pump." It is lightweight, comfortable and obviously perfect for dancing.
But most men find them out of the question. A perfectly plain, black lace-up that is highly polished is the nearest acceptable substitute. It is not precisely in the tradition, but no one would be faulted for the change. On the other hand, wearing slip-on loafers of any kind, no matter how highly polished, does not make the grade.
While I know men do not particularly care about being "seen in the same outfit," if these weddings have large cross-over audiences and your girlfriend is wearing different dresses (very likely), you may want to take advantage of the options above to switch-up looks with your accessories.
A white jacket is very distinctive, so you will be noticed and different touches could enhance and provide conversation points.
Send male fashion queries to
Lois.Fenton@prodigy.net
High Profile on 07/27/2014