It was definitely time to see the old man again. Things were starting to get to me. I found myself replying to the day's crank letters. I was reading my irate emails all the way through, cuss words and all, and felt a compulsion to answer them--a sure sign things had gotten out of control.
To top it off, the midterm elections were approaching like a bad mood. I definitely needed a slow cup of tea and a long talk with a wise elder. And I knew just where to find both.
The door to the small third-floor walk up above a Chinese restaurant was open, welcoming as wisdom to all those who would seek it. The aroma of wonton and orange-flavored beef wafted upward, already soothing. The tea was already brewing, the steam rising like good sense above vain things.
It had been a long time, yet it was as if the master had been expecting me. He greeted me with the hint of a smile, neither obsequious nor haughty, but welcoming without showing it.
"Inscrutable as ever," I murmured, easing into a chair across from him.
"Scrutable enough," he corrected, "if you will have the patience to observe without judging. Just see how he operates, observe what path he follows, examine what he is satisfied with, and how can a man remain inscrutable, how can a man remain inscrutable?" (Book 2, Saying 10.)
"Easy enough for you to say, there above it all. But what about those of us down below, who must put up with the slings and arrows of readers, the condescension of winning politicians and the anger of losing ones, the envy of the poor and the indifference of the rich, the stupidity of clods and the charity of our betters, the jealousy of the untalented and, worst of all, the pity of the gifted? Intolerable, all of it. Why, oh, why am I not properly appreciated is what I want to know."
"One does not worry about the fact that other people do not appreciate one. One worries about not appreciating other people." (Book 1, Saying 16.)
"But we can't all be sages, Master Kong. Some of us are just inky wretches. I don't ask a philosopher to empathize, but can't you sympathize?"
"Not to be resentful at others' failure to appreciate one--surely that is to be a true gentleman?" (Book 1, Saying 1.)
"The tea is delicious, master, and fortifying. Like your words. But may I be so bold as to point out that you're talking to a newspaperman here, not a gentleman? Besides, how could you tell a gentleman these days even if you ran across one? Aren't they extinct?"
"The gentleman puts his sayings into action before adopting them as mottoes. The gentleman has universal sympathies and is not partisan. The small man is partisan and does not have universal sympathies." (Book 2, Sayings 13-14.)
"Yeah, well, a philosopher might say that, but the rest of us have to operate in a two-party system--some parts of Arkansas excepted. I notice you steer clear of politics. How come you never took part in government?"
"It is because I have not yet been tried out in office that I have developed accomplishments." (Book 9, Saying 7.)
"Is there any way to boil down your counsel into some simple principle that even a round-eyed barbarian like me might grasp?"
"If you do not want others to inflict something on you, you also should want to avoid inflicting it on others." (Book 5, Saying 12.)
"Good advice. It sounds familiar somehow. Like a Bible verse. Do unto others and all that. But I need something, well, more original. If I'm going to get a column out of this interview, I'll need something snappier, something with a clever twist to it."
"Clever words upset virtue. (Book 15, Saying 27.) What is the point of eloquence? Those who confront others with a ready tongue are often hated by them." (Book 5, Saying 5.)
"Maybe so, but the virtuous are often hated, too, especially those who aren't eloquent."
"I have never come across anyone who admires virtue as much as he admires sexual attraction." (Book 9, Saying 18.)
"You can say that again! And probably will. For your sayings have been quoted for thousands of years. But what about those of us who have to write every day and risk bad reviews?"
"Learn from them. My disciple Hui is of no help to me. In my words there is nothing which he does not admire." (Book 11, Saying 4.)
"I suppose we do learn most from our critics."
"One does not worry about the fact that other people do not appreciate one. One worries about not being worthy." (Book 14, Saying 30.)
"We can't all be as equable as you, master. What about us ordinary mortals, prey to every passing passion, whose moods swing like a weathervane in a windstorm? Me, whenever I read about some high-ranking official who's abused his position, I want him tarred and feathered, put in stocks, ridden out of town on a rail . . . . But then, when he's caught out, and a picture in the paper shows only a broken old woman leaving court after being convicted of 14 counts of extortion and bribery, or a once trusted university administrator leaving a courthouse with his overcoat thrown over his handcuffs, all I can feel is pity. Why is that?"
"Because revenge is sour. Dreams of it delight only when we are in no position to exact it. And when we are, what's the point? The hungry dream of food, the powerless of revenge. Contrary to M. Talleyrand, revenge is not a dish best served cold. It's more a sweet-and-sour sauce. Sweet in prospect, sour in retrospect."
"Surely you know best, master, but what of those of us who are determined to exact it?"
"In that case, before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."
"Thank you, Master Kong, and not just for the tea."
The master smiled adieu, his smile neither obsequious nor haughty, but bestowed with a certain guarded but clear beneficence. The food looked good in the Chinese place downstairs, but I passed it up. I already had my take-out.
--–––––v–––––--
From time to time Paul Greenberg, the Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial page editor of the Democrat-Gazette, consults Confucius, an ancient Chinese philosopher whose sayings can be found in The Analects.
Editorial on 03/19/2014