When Deb Cooper, a member of St. Margaret’s Episcopal Church in Little Rock, wanted to learn more about other religions, she decided a book study at her church would be a good idea. But she thought that talking about other religions with a bunch of Christians wasn’t really the right approach. Instead, she decided to gather a group of Christian, Muslim and Jewish women to talk about their faiths.
The only problem was that Cooper didn’t know any Jewish or Muslim women.
“I had always respected other religions but then it dawned on me one day that I didn’t know anybody from other religions. So that kind of makes it an empty respect, doesn’t it?” Cooper said. “So I got out to try to meet people of other faith traditions.”
The result was the Daughters of Abraham book club. Since 2012, the women have been meeting to discuss books and faith, and they’ve formed lasting friendships across religious lines. They’ve found they have much more in common than they’d ever imagined.
“We read books because that’s our foundation and it really helps us start our conversations,” Cooper said. “I think we have really deep conversations and really get to know one another. It’s all about building relationships and friendships. We’ve become friends.”
The three religions share a common patriarch in Abraham, and from that common ground their goal is to foster respect and understanding among the faith groups - not to convert one another or argue about whose faith is the “right” one.
Neriman Kockara, a Muslim, has been involved in the group since it began. She heard about the group through the Dialogue Institute of the Southwest, a group in Little Rock that also promotes interfaith cooperation and understanding. Kockara said the group has brought her new friends and expanded her view of other religions.
“Even though I thought I knew about Christianity and Judaism, I learned that I really didn’t know,” she said. “It was really a big positive for me and I feel like they’ve also learned about my faith, too.It’s really wonderful, the interaction between each other.”
The group includes about 22 members. They had so much interest from other women that they formed a second group, Sisters of Light, last year. The Daughters of Abraham meet each month to discuss a book they’ve been reading as a group, or to talk about specific topics.
“We read anything that will trigger conversations about our three faith traditions,” Cooper said. “We’ve read historical books, fiction.”
Books they’ve read include The Faith Club: A Muslim, a Christian, a Jew - Three Women Search for Understanding by Suzanne Oliver, Ranya Idliby and Priscilla Warner; A Journey to the Heart of Three Faiths by Bruce Feiler; and The Tent of Abraham: Stories of Hope and Peace by Arthur Waskow, Joan Chittister and Saadi Shakur Chishti.
They’ve also watched films, including Three Faiths, One God and God in the Box.
“Anything that will get us started thinking about our own faith and the faith of others,” Cooper said.
The readings often prompt deep conversations about what faith means to each person in the group.
“We ask one another very hard questions,” Cooper said. “A lot of times we say ‘I don’t know’ … and we never finish talking.”
Adina Anhalt is an Orthodox Jew. She found out about the group from a friend and wanted to join right away. It seemed a perfect fit.
“I was raised Christian and have a Muslim cousin, so I thought for a long time how wonderful it would be to be in an interfaith group,” Anhalt said.
Since joining the group, Anhalt said she has explored her own faith more than ever before. She said the group helps her think about what she believes and why and how those beliefs relate to those around her.
For Burcin Mutlu, who is a Muslim, the group has helped her see that despite their different faiths the women all share common hopes and dreams.
“When the world says you are all different and says you should be different [from] others it imposes this, but actually we realized we are all the same,” Mutlu said. “We are feeling the same love and happiness. We are all the same.”
Anhalt said just by discussing their own faiths the women have learned much from one another.
“We are told by so many people that we all have our separate faiths and we can’t get along, but once we talk to each other we get along great, and seeing other women living out their faith has been such an inspiration,” she said.
That doesn’t mean the group members agree on everything. They disagree sometimes, but they also respect each other’s opinions, Anhalt said.
The group does have some ground rules. For one, politics are off limits. They also don’t discuss other religions or denominations not represented in the group. And respect for other faiths is paramount.
One thing members have had to learn more about is dietary guidelines. Muslims and Jews don’t eat pork, for one, and some Jews follow kosher guidelines, while many Muslims eat only halal, or food prepared according to Islamic dietary guidelines. To make things simple and edible for all, meals usually feature a big salad, vegetables and bread.
“That’s also part of the respect we have for one another,” said Anhalt, who learned about halal dietary guidelines from Mutlu. While making potato soup for a gathering, she sent Mutlu pictures of every step of the process to make sure it conformed to halal rules.
“It makes us more conscious of each other,” she said.
For Cooper, the group has been an inspiration. She has formed lasting relationships with these women and is delighted that more women are interested in joining or forming similar groups.
“It’s the friendships we’ve built that’s made all the difference,” she said. “You can read all the books you want, but this is what makes the difference.”
Anhalt said the group has helped her grow in her own faith. She likens the group to the Jewish concept of tikkun olam or “repairing the world.”
“I feel when we do this we are helping to repair the world by learning about other people’s faiths,” she said. “I absolutely love this group. In Orthodox Judaism we believe one day we will all get to a place where there will be peace among everyone and I believe we are getting to that place.”
Cooper said she thinks of Rabbi Jonathan Sacks’ words on the test of faith in his book The Dignity of Difference is an appropriate one for the group: “The test of faith is whether I can make space for difference. Can I recognize God’s image in someone who is not in my image, whose language, faith, ideal, are different from mine? If I cannot, then I have made God in my image instead of allowing him to remake me in His.”
She hopes the Daughters of Abraham can inspire other women and men to join together in similar groups.
“Every group can look different but we are here to help,” she said.
Information about the group and suggestions for group readings are available online at daughtersofabrahamlr.blogspot.com or by email at daughtersofabrahamlittlerock@gmail.com.
Religion, Pages 12 on 05/03/2014