Otus the Head Cat

Politicians pull off switcheroo in 'fall back' date

Hundreds line up for early voting Thursday in a field next to the East End Fire Department. Voter safety is behind the postponement of returning to Central Standard Time.
Hundreds line up for early voting Thursday in a field next to the East End Fire Department. Voter safety is behind the postponement of returning to Central Standard Time.

Dear Otus,

I had my calendar marked to "fall back" at 2 a.m. Sunday, but now that's changed.

I assume that everybody else got that surprise government letter yesterday [Oct. 27] where it said that "Due to concerns for voter safety, the return to standard time will be postponed until 2 a.m. Sunday, Nov. 9."

Then there was a little smiley face and "Have a nice day." Do you have any insight about this irritating deviation from the norm?

-- Anna Nomilee,

Searcy

Dear Anna,

It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and likewise a pleasure to commiserate with your understandable frustration.

If we believe the Tom Cotton for Senate Campaign, we can blame the Obama administration and its Democratic lackeys and minions for this obvious conspiracy and egregious attempt at voter fraud.

The Mark Pryor folks say it's coming from the billionaire Koch brothers (Charles and David), backers of Tom Cotton and Asa Hutchinson, and their nefarious attempts to influence local politics around the country.

In reality, it was the Department of Homeland Security.

To quote one of the Eliots (T.S. or George, I forget), "An election is coming. Universal peace is declared and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry." You, dear Anna, are the poultry. You and your fellow voters.

Behind the scenes, Democrats and Republicans have signed off on the one-time daylight saving time extension in an effort to keep their core voters out of the dark. Literally.

You'll recall all the confusion in 2007 when Congress agreed to start daylight saving time earlier. Again this year, we all did the "spring forward one hour" thing on the unusually early date of March 9. All, except for those in Hawaii, most of Arizona, and some regions of Alaska.

Originally, we were to "fall back" Sunday. Then Homeland Security realized that late voters on Tuesday would be stuck waiting in the dark. Early voting has been particularly heavy this year and portends a record turnout Tuesday. The specter of long, shivering lines of disgruntled voters snaking through the darkness to their polling places was enough to take action. The revised return to Central Standard Time is 2 a.m. Nov. 9.

A glance at the solar/lunar tables explains it all. If we return to Central Standard Time on Sunday, then Little Rock sunset for Tuesday, Nov. 4 will be 5:14 p.m., with the end of civil twilight (when it's totally dark) at 5:39 p.m.

That means those who wait to vote until after work Tuesday would be lining up at sunset or later and waiting in the Stygian gloom.

Election officials are expecting lines of up to a quarter mile long across the country. Polling places, traditionally manned by retired octogenarians, would be overwhelmed.

Arkansas polls close at 7:30 p.m., but voters already in line will not be turned away no matter how dark and cold and scary the night.

It's a paradox as to why Homeland Security waited so late to remedy the situation. Yet every experience is a paradox in that it intends to be absolute, and yet is relative in that it somehow always goes beyond itself and yet never escapes itself.

With the extra hour of daylight, late voters will have time to stop by home for a thermos of hot coffee, a stadium blanket and maybe a lawn chair with which to wait in line.

Proponents of the daylight saving time extension are very passionate about the measure. And should we lack passion, we are labeled as soulless. Who would not agree that the soul is so far from being a monad that we have not only to interpret other souls to ourselves but to interpret ourselves to ourselves?

The fear from some myopic candidates is that darkness-bedeviled would-be voters stuck in long lines will give up on the process, fold their chairs and go home to watch the returns on TV without participating.

But is tampering with daylight saving time the answer? Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. People to whom nothing has ever happened cannot understand the unimportance of events.

The idea of saving time is always a gray area. Between the concept and the reality, between the motion and the act, falls the timorous shadow.

Will that shadow, that uncertainty, harm the voting process? Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm, but the harm they cause does not interest them.

Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that the sweet little old ladies will still ask for a photo ID, but you don't have to show it.

Disclaimer

Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of humorous fabrication appears every Saturday. Email:

mstorey@arkansasonline.com

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