Every young sport of dating age is bound to encounter the World's Scariest Dad. But mine tops them all for a man I never met.
Just out of college, years ago and miles away from Arkansas, I took to the stage as a way to meet girls. This worked incredibly well. I parlayed a small role in A Streetcar Named Desire into a late-night, backstage convergence with -- oh, wow.
Beautiful with a knowing look to her. Plainly out of reach. But she asked me to light a cigarette for her, just as my newsboy character sparked a smoke for Blanche DuBois. The smoke curled a soft ribbon around her. I asked her out.
I was bragging to a friend, Mike, that she said yes. He asked twice what her name was. He said he knew her sister. He said he knew other guys who had dated her, and I didn't want to wind up like they did. He said, "Uh, Ron. Do you know how old she is?"
Never thought to ask.
"Fifteen," he said. "Do you know who her dad is?"
No idea.
"Commander of the Air Force base."
I called to tell her I had to break the date -- had to be out of town.
And I left town.
Family on 10/29/2014