September is the fall guy of the year. Daylight dwindles, chuck wagons reel, bees bumble, steam engines huff, and leaves come tumblin' down.
1 Labor Day. How was it? Just another day of labor? If so, take heart in this: Absolutely nothing happened that a person would be sorry to miss. Yeah, right.
All the schmooze fit to print
2 Shameless Promotion Month -- being careful to know the fine difference between "I tooted my horn" and "I blew it."
Pine Bluff Art League Juried exhibition through Nov. 12 at the Arts & Science Center for Southeast Arkansas, Pine Bluff. Details at asc701.org. Call (870) 536-3375.
Morel of the story
3 National Mushroom Month -- and what to say when a mycologist (mushroom hunter) finds a new species: Spore boy makes good.
Ready to rumble
4 Hot Springs Motorcycle Rally through Sept. 6. Trace Adkins concert Sept. 6. Details at thehotspringsrally.com. Call (501) 282-7076.
Dancin' feat
5 Regional premiere of Memphis, musical stage show through Sept 28 at Arkansas Repertory Theatre, Little Rock. Details at therep.org. Call (501) 378-0405.
Talk show
Ham Fest amateur radio enthusiasts gathering through Sept. 6 at Queen Wilhelmina State Park, Mena. Details at queenwilhelmina.com. Call (479) 394-2863.
Engine uprising
Tired Iron of the Ozarks Fall Show through Sept. 7, Gentry. Details at tiredironoftheozarks.org. Call (479) 215-6050.
Desperado, why don't you
come to your senses?
Train robber Jesse James' birthday, 1847.
Shake it up, baby
6 How to celebrate National Shake Month: with a malternative lifestyle.
Good grief
"Final Respects" exhibit on how to do a proper 19th-century job of mourning, through Dec. 27 at Rogers Historical Museum, Rogers. Call (479) 621-1155.
Putt-putt it there, pal
Antique Tractor and Engine Show, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Plantation Agriculture Museum, Scott. Call (501) 961-1409.
BikeMS: Rock'n Hit Ride round trip from North Little Rock to Hot Springs Village, through Sept. 7, benefits the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Details at bikemsarkansas.org. Call (501) 663-8104.
Meemaw and peepaw
hoo-ha
7 Grandparents Day.
Rhea Lana's children's consignment sale, through Sept. 13 at the Little Rock Expo Center, Jacksonville. Details at rhealana.com. Call (501) 499-0009.
It's life, Jim
8 Premiere of the original TV series Star Trek, 1966 -- so long ago, the star date was in Roman numerals.
Utterly fuzzily cuddly
9 Teddy Bear Day, and all I need to know I learned from my teddy bear:
• Sometimes, it's best to not talk, just hug.
• All day cozy in bed is not a bad day.
m"No one can be un-cheered with a balloon." -- Winnie the Pooh.
Pooh's go-to goo
National Honey Month.
Cool beings
Jazz Eureka festival with Ellis Marsalis Jr., Delfeayo Marsalis and the Fayetteville Jazz Collective, through Sept. 14, Eureka Springs. Details at jazzeureka.org. Call (479) 253-7333.
Get itch quick
10 National Head Lice Prevention Month. How to get rid of lice? -- it's a real head-scratcher.
Takes two to tango
11 The Art of Motion: Tango, lessons and night of dancing, 7 p.m. at the Arkansas Arts Center, Little Rock. Details at arkarts.com. Call (501) 372-4000.
Get a load of this
12 Backpack Safety America Month. Studies show the average school backpack weighs 127 pounds -- empty.
Put on a happy vase
Verna Garvan Design Study Group flower show through Sept. 14, Garvan Woodland Gardens, Hot Springs. Details at garvangardens.org. Call (501) 262-9300.
One part hair tonic,
Four-part harmony
13 Hot Springs Fun City Barbershop Chorus Concert, "Give My Regards to Broadway," 7 p.m. at the Hot Springs Convention Center. Details at funcitychorus.org. Call (501) 276-0700.
Spread out
Ozark Quilt Fair at Shiloh Museum of Ozark History, Springdale. Details at shilohmuseum.org. Call (479) 750-8165.
Chalk it up
Thea Paves the Way sidewalk chalk show and drawing at the Clinton Presidential Center, Little Rock. Details at theafoundation.org. Call (501) 379-9512.
Bark, bark, barkin'
at heaven's door
14 Pet Memorial Day.
Chingachgook!
Gesundheit!
15 Leatherstocking Tales author James Fenimore Cooper's birthday, 1789, with Hawkeye and the other guy with the 12-letter name.
"Cooper has scored 114 offenses against literary art out of a possible 115. It breaks the record." -- Mark Twain
Applesauce
for the teacher
Substitute Teacher Appreciation Week, and reasons to be happy about having a sub:
• She is apt to forget names.
• He might never find the test.
• She isn't mad at anybody -- yet.
The shapes of things
to come
16 National Play-Doh Day, Whole Grains Month, Update Your Resume Month: A ball, a loaf, a lump of pride.
Big fall sail
Pilgrims set sail from England, 1620, wearing souvenir T-shirts that read: "Mayflower. The band. The tour."
Southern bells
Ding Dong Days Festival events through Sept. 21; Fun Day Sept. 20, Dumas. Details at dumasar.net. Call (870) 382-5447.
Cat in the hat
17 Fall Hat Month, Happy Cat Month, and that time of year when kitty has the sweetest fez.
Flickery-dickory-doc
18 El Dorado Film Festival through Sept. 20 at the South Arkansas Arts Center, El Dorado. Details at saac-arts.com. Call (870) 862-5474.
A Fair to Remember, 6:30 p.m. at Metroplex/ Team Summit, Little Rock, benefits Arkansas Hospice. Details at afairtoremember.org. Call (501) 748-3306.
With a little help
from their friends
19 Beatles at the Ridge Music Festival with Jeffrey & the Pacemakers and Liverpool Legends through Sept. 20 at Walnut Ridge. Details at beatlesattheridge.com. Call (501) 412-6497.
Like greyhounds
Go, Dog, Go through Oct. 5 at the Arkansas Arts Center Children's Theatre, Little Rock. Details at arkarts.com. Call (501) 372-4000.
Double scoop
Arkansas Oklahoma State Fair through Sept. 27 at Kay Rodgers Park, Fort Smith. Details at arkansasoklahomafair.com. Call (479) 783-6176.
Pirates Arrr Us
International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
A band of scurvy swabs are we;
Avast! --
We sail a vast, wide sea;
Ahoy! --
A hoity-toity crew;
Yo-ho!
Yo' mama's proud of you.
Bigfoot forward
20 Arkansas Paranormal Expo at the MacArthur Museum of Arkansas Military History, Little Rock. Details at arkmilitaryheritage.com. Call (501) 376-4602.
Doo-dah, doo-dawg
"Wiener Takes All" dachshund races, 11 a.m.- 2 p.m. at Forest Hills Boulevard and Rogers Road, Bella Vista. "Weiner Wanna-Be" race for other breeds, all part of the Bella Vista Hay Days Festival. Information at bellavista-animalshelter.org. Call (479) 855-6020.
Almond Joy has nuts,
mounds don't
Fall Equinox Celebration, 3:30-7 p.m. at Toltec Mounds State Park, Scott. Details at arkansas.com. Call (501) 961-9442.
Thanks all around
21 World Gratitude Day
Pair-shaped
22 Superior Relationships Month -- like Superman and Lois Lane, except when he forgets the anniversary of their first date 76 years ago. Only one thing makes Superman weaker than Kryptonite -- the thought of commitment.
Rake it up, baby
23 First day of fall. Leaves fall like calendar pages that count down 93 shopping days to Christmas.
Scales, scales,
the gang's all here
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): Is today your birthday? If so, it's another day of doing things the perfectly balanced Libra way. Weighed, measured, fair-minded, even-tempered, equal parts wise and merciful -- and all this with half a mind to blow up in somebody's face. (Note to Virgo: Never cross a Libra.)
Smacks of trouble
World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Smackdown with Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose, 7 p.m. at Verizon Arena, North Little Rock. Details at verizonarena.com. Call (800) 745-3000.
Hog wild
24 Bikes, Blues and BBQ through Sept. 27, Fayetteville. Details at bikesbluesandbbq.org.Call (479) 527-9993.
Swappy jalopy
Fall Swap Meet, Car Show and Military Vehicle Rally through Sept. 27 at the Museum of Automobiles on Petit Jean Mountain, Morrilton. Details at museumofautos.com. Call (501) 727-5427.
Tyke + trike = yike!
25 How to celebrate Baby Safety Month: No faw down, no go boom.
Hide and go sneak
Subliminal Communications Month
Looks innocent enough, but
You never know.
A Vintage Affair for MS, 6:30 p.m. at Next Level Events, Historic Union Station, Little Rock. Wine tasting and auctions benefit the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, Arkansas. Details at avintageaffairms.org. Call (501) 663-6767.
Shameless self promotion
26 Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month.
Morning glories
27 Better Breakfast Month, and how to make things better:
• Flapjacks so light they do tricks in the air: flipjacks.
• Omelets that bring inner peace better than yoga: om-omm-lets.
• Oatmeal worth bragging about: gloatmeal.
Arkansas Symphony Orchestra with pianist Andrew Staupe, 7:30 p.m. Sept. 27 and 3 p.m. Sept. 28 at Maumelle Performing Arts Center, Maumelle. Details at arkansassymphony.org. Call (501) 666-1761.
Blame Canada
28 National Good Neighbor Day.
Ready, set, whoa
29National Preparedness Month -- or as we say in the South, "fixin' to." Note to newcomers from the plain-spoken North: "Fixin' to" means just about ready to get ready. It doesn't mean prepared, or even prepared to get ready, but just about. Example: "Yo-ho, I'm fixin' to be a pirate."
Pot boiler
30 National Rice Month sticks to the bottom.
Coming next month: October! Call (501) 399-3633, write to Ron Wolfe, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, 121 E. Capitol Ave., Little Rock, Ark. 72203, or email
rwolfe@arkansasonline.com
by Sept. 15 to suggest October calendar entries or how to celebrate October as American Cheese Month, such as: Edam up, yum. Each event requires a phone number that is answered during business hours or by an answering machine that identifies the event or its sponsor.
Style on 09/02/2014