Dear Mahatma: What do you think of stocking our potholes with fish? Probably a cheaper and quicker alternative. Plus a new source of municipal revenue. -- Choking and Jolting in Little Rock
Dear Jolt: You have proven it's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. This is an excellent solution, except that municipal governments traditionally do not dabble in fisheries management.
Instead, call 311, the city's nonemergency services number, and report the specific location of the pond-sized potholes.
Dear Mahatma: My husband recently had a bad accident turning left at Cantrell and Kavanaugh. Currently there is no turn signal on Cantrell, although there are turn signals on Kavanaugh in both directions. I wish to circulate a petition requesting turn signals on the former. To whom should this be addressed? I enjoy your column and smile at your keen sense of humor. -- Club Road
Dear Club: Aw, shucks.
Whom to contact? Kavanaugh Boulevard is a city street in Little Rock, but Cantrell Road is Arkansas 10 and is under the jurisdiction of the Arkansas Highway and Transportation Department. This confusion can be resolved by approaching both. A petition seems unnecessary; a phone call would surely do.
Mark Headley is the engineer and big dog of District 6 of the Highway Department. The main number is (501) 569-2000.
Little Rock's manager of traffic engineering is Bill Henry. His office has a phone, too, and the number is (501) 379-1816.
Both would undoubtedly enjoy visiting with you. Be warned, though, that engineers like to explain engineering stuff in intricate detail. Your brain may become addled.
Please let us know what happens.
Seen on a nifty sports car: AVI8TRX.
A lagniappe appends to the issuance of tickets to drivers who park in handicapped places and shouldn't. The state has a scholarship program funded by the fines.
Leonard Boyle is executive director of the Governor's Commission on People with Disabilities. In the current school year, he said, the program has provided 29 college scholarships of $1,000 -- $500 each semester -- to students with disabilities. The number of scholarships varies from year to year based on the number of tickets written and fines collected, he said.
The Accessible Parking Act, Arkansas Code Annotated 27-15301, provides for a fine of $100 to $500 for a first offense. A second offense means a fine of $500 to $1,000, the vehicle may be towed and impounded, and the driver's license suspended for six months.
Thirty percent of those fines go to the commission for the scholarships. The students, Boyle said, go all over the state and outside the state, including Georgia Tech and Iowa State.
A lagniappe is something given as a bonus or an extra gift. Many years ago, The Mahatma got a girl. The lagniappe was a 1963 Chevrolet Impala. The Chevy is long gone; still got the girl.
Spotted on a yellow VW Beetle in Ashdown: EW ABUG.
Mahatma@arkansasonline.com
Metro on 04/04/2015