As is its wont in August, Arkansas has been hotter than an active volcano in thermal underwear.
And I'm still wearing black.
There's always at least one person -- usually some stranger -- making a quip about my having made what they see as my masochistic wardrobe choice in this heat.
Do let me be.
(Male readers, don't even think about turning away at this point and heading to the sports section. This involves you too -- especially those of you who work in Conservative Corporate America, wait tables, are priests, are Goths or are just artsy like that.)
The versatility and sheer slimming power of black have been invaluable, especially to those of us who have weight issues and/or who work as society photographers. Those qualities are too invaluable to give up black just because nobody thinks we should wear it in the heat.
"Somewhere along the way, black got mean-girled out of our summer wardrobes," writes Amanda Keiser at Luckyshops.com. "We'll admit that the darkest of hues does tend to soak up the heat, but with so many light-as-air fabrics and cool ventilated designs ... that can barely be considered a deal-breaker. ... Not only is black super-forgiving of our figures, but it also does a bang-up job disguising all of summer's other wonderful wardrobe worries (sweat marks, anyone?)."
One of my nieces once asked me, circa her preteen years, why I wore so much black. I chalked her question up to youthful innocence, so I passed on making the quip Bea Arthur's character, Dorothy, made during a Golden Girls TV-sitcom episode when asked why she and Sophia were both wearing black. "We were singing backup for Johnny Cash," Dorothy replied.
Cash, God rest his soul, knew what the deal was. The woman with whom I recently walked into my office building didn't. I was wearing a black maxi dress. Chattering on about the heat, she felt the need to add, "And wearing black doesn't help." She went on about how she didn't wear black until some date that gave her reassurance that she wouldn't burn up in it.
I did what we do these days. I vented on Facebook.
"There's always plenty of black among the color choices for spring and summer apparel. So why do well-meaning folks who don't contribute any money toward your wardrobe seem to feel the need to chastise or criticize you for wearing black? If you're going to fool around outside all day in the fafillion-degree heat, that's one thing (even then ... hey, there's no lack of black swimsuits). If you're out in the heat just long enough to go from one air-conditioned environment to another, that's another. And in Arkansas heat, you can burn up just as much wearing white or turquoise."
The post hit a nerve, with 95 likes and nearly 40 comments:
"I like wearing black throughout the entire year!"
"I live in black."
"Love, love, love black. It's basic!"
"My choice of color to wear every day!"
"Ninety-five percent of my wardrobe is black."
"Black is my color, and I'm sticking to it!"
"It's easy, convenient and stretches my dollars. ... A black skirt or pant goes a long way and I will wear it winter, spring, summer or fall!"
And my favorite comment: "If they have a need to help folks with clothing choices, they should set up a free booth at [the big-box discount chain]." (Several people commented that in this age of social media, which has enabled us to speak our minds under the cover of anonymity, people have been emboldened to blurt out whatever comes to them.)
Thus affirmed, I wore black again the next day and am probably wearing it today. As, I'm sure, are many whose professions/bosses don't give a flying flame-thrower that it's the dog days of summer. Says one funeral director, "black is the color most worn" on her job.
So, summer wearers of black, let's tell these "Ooo, you must be dying in all that black" commenters to tell it to the Addams Family. We look more chic, and no, our sweat marks aren't showing. Well, even if our heads happen to drenched in sweat, we can hold those heads up high!
Then, the day after Labor Day, let's get decked out in blinding white.
Black is the new email:
hwilliams@arkansasonline.com
Style on 08/16/2015