The subject of today's tongue wagging: WAGS.
WAGS, which stands for Wives and Girlfriends of Sports Stars, is the new E! reality show about the lives of women in romantic relationships with professional athletes. Haven't there already been a bunch of similar shows? Basketball Wives, Football Wives and Baseball Wives? Yes, but those VH1 shows must have appeared on days when Bravo's Real Housewives shows or Razorbacks and Baltimore Ravens games were on.
So now we're wagging our tails over the wacky, wenchy world of WAGS, where cat fights and carries meet. The series premiered last Tuesday (new episodes at 9 p.m. Tuesdays); full episodes are available on eonline.com.
Let's go to the highlight reel of the first episode and recap the action.
We're introduced to seven women based in Los Angeles who are dating or married to athletes. Well, six. The seventh isn't dating an athlete or anyone for that matter. She's just a family member on the roster for friction's sake.
Ashley: This daughter of a Major League Baseball player probably should have listened to her mother's advice: "Don't date athletes." Still, she's desperate to marry Tampa Bay Buccaneer (now Redskin) Dashon Goldson because, "There's some competition with other wives, they look down upon the girlfriends, so I want to set a date." Goldson refuses to set a date, perhaps because he doesn't want to be rushed. After all, the couple, who have a 3-year-old daughter, has only dated 11 (!) years and Goldson, a safety, is a great blocker. False start!
Autumn: The wife of Seyi Ajirotutu, a San Diego Charger (now Philadelphia Eagle), is a stickler for the WAGS hierarchy: "Generally, I hang out with wives instead of girls who are girlfriends because we don't know if they're going to be here the next week or if they're just the flavor of the week." Hence, the only little girls she will scrimmage with are her baby twin daughters. Leverage!
Barbie: She has no patience for the skanks who want to "takeaway" her fiance, Sheldon Souray of the Anaheim Ducks hockey team (who has since retired). "There's always going to be women around. ... That's why, I'm like, no, you ain't touching my man, I'll ... slit your wrists ... like, I will choke you." And we believe her. Barbie is better known as Kelly Kelly, a former WWE wrestler. Roughing the passer!
Sasha: The wife of San Diego Charger Antonio Gates didn't always have the glamorous lifestyle she has now: "Growing up, we didn't have much. My mother was a single parent. We didn't grow up in a mansion; we grew up in Section 8 housing. It was tough." But now she's used to finer things. Like scoring a giant diamond "push present" (a flimsy 5 carats "isn't enough," she says) for their second child who was born in June. Her husband should have time for more jewelry shopping when he's suspended the first four games of this coming season for performance-enhancing drug use. Personal foul!
Nicole: When she's not traveling for her modeling work, the girlfriend of Tampa Bay Buccaneer Larry English spends her time philosophizing: "Trust is huge when you're dating an athlete. If you don't trust one another, then automatically it's a fail." This when she's spying on English via their home's dog cam and looking through his phone. Encroachment!
Natalie: She is the girlfriend of Shaun Phillips with the Indianapolis Colts (until he was released in February). And she's known for blindsiding the competition. Like Barbie when assessing her engagement ring: "No offense, but it's a little small." But not everything is surface with appearance-obsessed Natalie who stresses she's focused on internal improvement, too. After visiting a doctor about elective lady parts surgery, she says, "I think it's safe to say that another rule about being a WAG is not only looking good on the outside, but looking good on the inside." Blocking below the waist!
Olivia: While this free agent has dated sports guys in the past, she's single. She joins her cousin and sidekick Natalie in taking cheap shots at Barbie, telling her she'd never date a hockey player because they're all cheaters. Taunting!
During the episode that spans a girls' spa day, girls' night out and couples' trip to Las Vegas, there is plenty of piling on between the wives and the girlfriends. And then there's a heated interception when a blitzed Nicole refuses to let Larry party with his friends. Will the tension that happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas? We highly doubt it.
Here's looking forward to a season full of unsportswomanlike conduct and unnecessary roughness.
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What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood.
Style on 08/25/2015