"UA System opens benefits to gay spouses," read the headline at the top of Page 1B in last Tuesday's paper. Which hardly seems fair. What about morose, irritable or just other than gay spouses? Shouldn't they be entitled to the same benefits the University of Arkansas provides happier ones? Why should employment benefits be reserved for workers with a smiley-face? Isn't there a law against this kind of unfair discrimination? A decent respect for equal rights demands . . .
Oh. Or as Emily Litella on the old Saturday Night Live show (the original, good one) used to say when she'd misunderstood and jumped to the wrong conclusion, or a whole series of them: Never Mind.
As in this piece of dialogue: "What's all this talk about violins on TV? I think we need more violins and less of that loud rock music. And furthermore . . . ."
"Uh, excuse me; Miss Litella. It's violence on TV, not violins."
"Oh. Never mind."
Glancing at that headline about gay spouses, we began leaping to conclusions at Emily Litella speed. Maybe because we've spent fruitless years trying to save the original meaning of Gay, meaning jovial, happy, joyous--as in Gay Nineties, and resisted using the word as just a synonym for homosexual.
But the language moves on without asking our permission--till it's become impossible to use the word Gay in its old sense, at least not without being conscious of its newer meaning. And self-conscious. 'Tis a pity, but there 'tis. It may be time to recognize that we've lost this linguistic battle. Not to mention a once perfectly good word, much as we hate to admit it. Just call us Emily.
Editorial on 07/07/2015