Back in 1957, a young Queen Elizabeth was on a tour of the United States and wanted to experience a traditional American sporting event.
A few days later, she attended a college football game between Maryland and North Carolina and was astounded by the size and skill of the athletes on the field.
"Where do you get all of these enormous players?" the queen inquired of her host, former Maryland Gov.Theodore McKeldin.
"Your Majesty," McKeldin replied sheepishly, "that's a very embarrassing question."
More than a half-century later, it's more embarrassing than ever.
In the wake of two Florida State players being charged with hitting women in recent weeks and Alabama Coach Nick Saban on Wednesday defending his irresponsible decision to recruit another accused batterer of women, it's time for school presidents and conference commissioners to take control of who is getting admitted into our so-called institutions of higher learning.
If left to their own devices, win-at-all-cost coaches such as Saban will rationalize allowing any miscreant into school under the benevolent guise of giving them a second chance.
A few months ago, Saban signed Jonathan Taylor, a 6-4, 340-pound nose guard who was kicked off the University of Georgia team after he allegedly punched and choked his former girlfriend and was charged with two felony counts of assault. A few weeks later, Saban himself was forced to dismiss Taylor after he was arrested again on domestic violence charges even though his accuser later recanted her allegations against him.
Fellow SEC members were so embarrassed by Saban's signing of Taylor that they just implemented a rule preventing league schools from accepting transfer students with histories of domestic violence or sexual assault.
When I asked Saban at SEC media days on Wednesday if he regrets the decision to admit Taylor, he went into full double-talk mode by saying "we don't at all condone any kind of violent behavior toward women."
Really?
Then why did you sign a player who was facing two felony counts of battering a woman?
"I do not regret giving players opportunities," Saban maintained. "This is an opportunity we gave a player that didn't work out."
A more truthful answer would have been: "Why did I sign Jonathan Taylor? Did you see what Ohio State's Ezekiel Elliott did to us in the playoff game? He stampeded us for 230 yards on 20 carries. I needed a run-stopper in the middle; that's why I signed him."
This is why I don't really blame Saban. I blame Alabama's school president for allowing a football coach carte blanche on what players are admitted into the university. The same goes for presidents at Florida State, Florida, Clemson and the countless other schools that recruited Dalvin Cook, the FSU running back who was arrested recently and charged with punching a woman outside a Tallahassee bar.
According to records from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, Cook was arrested as a juvenile on two separate charges -- one involving a robbery and another involving possessing and firing a weapon on school property.
Don't colleges and college presidents have a responsibility to protect their student bodies by not admitting football players who might be a threat to fellow students?
"The actions of a few have the capacity to do serious damage to the reputation of our entire university," FSU President John Thrasher said in a statement a few days ago after a come-to-Jesus meeting with Seminole players about their behavior. "We need to do better."
Thrasher and his fellow school presidents can start by ordering their coaches to cease and desist with this misguided notion that universities are halfway houses to rehab troubled kids. The most notorious example of this came several years ago when Miami recruited Willie Williams, a high school All-America linebacker from South Florida who was arrested 11 times as a juvenile.
Miami President Donna Shalala, in an attempt to justify the signing, wrote in a letter to school boosters: "Mr. Williams is one of us -- a son of Miami. We have a special obligation, relationship and commitment to the young people of our South Florida community. We want them to continue to think of us as a place of academic excellence and opportunity."
Shalala's letter may be the biggest pile of pabulum in college football history. The only "special obligation" the Hurricanes had at the time was to win as many football games as possible, even if it meant selling their souls and prostituting their principles to do so.
If you please, Your Majesty, no more questions.
Sports on 07/17/2015