How to order a Domino's delivery pizza with just one keystroke via Twitter ... in 39 easy steps:
1. Get excited at the news that one can order a "Tweetza" by merely tweeting the pizza slice emoji to @Dominos.
2. Realize that much more is involved, at least for new customers.
3. First, establish an online customer account at Dominos.com.
4. Enter personal Pizza Profile information like name, address, phone and credit card number.
5. Read information on Tweet Ordering.
6. Connect online account to Twitter account by logging in to the social media platform.
7. Follow @Dominos so order confirmation can be sent via direct message.
8. Receive a welcome tweet from @Dominos. "Tweet #EASYORDER or [pizza emoji] to @Dominos to start placing your Easy Order."
9. Feel stomach growl in anticipation and consider other possibilities for this new Twitter/emoji technology. Ordering sushi, dessert, drumsticks and whatever that pink/white/green-balls-on-a-stick emoji in the food section is supposed to be with just one keystroke!
10. Google that pink/white/green-balls-on-a-stick emoji. It's apparently "dango," a Japanese dessert. Oh, and that white puff with a pink swirl? It's a fishcake.
10. Order your Easy Order.
11. Wonder: "What is an Easy Order?"
12. Learn that Easy Order is a favorite default order that Domino's will use when you tweet an order.
13. Try unsuccessfully to create an Easy Order as a new customer.
14. Refer to FAQs: "You can save a Recent Order as an Easy Order. ... If you do not have a Recent Order, you will need to place a new order to save as an Easy Order."
15. Realize that in order to order a Tweetza, you're going to have to order an online pizza first.
16. Order a medium specialty pizza and a Coke Zero online. We'll call this Pizza No. 1.
17. Realize a special makes a large three-topping considerably cheaper than the medium specialty and order that as Pizza No. 1 instead.
18. Click to commit order as Easy Order. Yes! Delivery is on its way!
19. Get error message: "We're very sorry, but [work address] is located outside the delivery service boundary offered by nearby stores."
20. Get same error message when trying your home address.
21. Get same error message when trying your boyfriend's home address.
20. Realize that delivery isn't happening. You might be using new technology, but you're going to have to go the old-school carryout route and fetch these pizzas yourself.
19. Go back to Twitter and tweet the pizza slice emoji to @Dominos for Pizza No. 2. Yes, it's the same thing you ordered for Pizza No. 1, but, hey, that's your fixed Easy Order and you're on a mission to order via Twitter, even if you have no need for two identical large pizzas. (Of course, online and call-in customers to Domino's can still order whatever they wish, and are not locked in to a certain order.)
20. Get direct message from Domino's: "Oops, you don't have an Easy Order!" Be directed back to the website where you thought you had successfully done all that.
21. Think of sending back a different emoticon. Maybe that smiley brown one. But you keep your cool.
22. Click again to set up your Recent Order as an Easy Order.
23. Head back to Twitter. Tweet pizza slice to @Dominos.
24. Receive direct message and instructions to reply with "CONFIRM" or the thumbs-up emoji to complete order.
25. Reply on phone with thumbs-up and get no response.
26. Worry as you're getting in the car to retrieve Pizza No. 1: What if Pizza No. 2 -- the Tweetza -- didn't go through?
27. Again reply on phone with "CONFIRM," just in case. Still no response.
28. Log back on to Twitter and respond to direct message with a thumbs-up and a "CONFIRM."
29. Success! Receive message that the Tweetza order has been placed. Message offers address, wait time (nine to 14 minutes) and a link to a high-tech tracker that keeps tabs on your pizza's readiness.
30. Realize that pizzas Nos. 1 and 2 likely won't be ready at the same time because the No 2 was ordered several minutes later. But no big deal.
31. Ring! Pick up the phone to hear a friendly Domino's employee -- an actual human being -- wanting to know if you meant to order the same thing twice.
32. Answer and explain too much: "Yes. I know it seems strange, but I wanted to use Twitter, but before I could tweet my order I had to set up an Easy Order first ...."
33. Get tweet from Dominos: "Thanks for tweeting your order. We're on it!"
34. Drive a few miles to Domino's.
35. Access pizza tracker to check if both orders are ready, and, surprise, they are!
36. Introduce self to friendly Domino's employee: "I'm the weirdo who made two of the same order!"
37. Ask -- as she's locating your two identical orders -- if many people are using Twitter to order their pizzas. She's not too familiar with it, making you feel all the weirder.
38. Leave store lugging two large pizzas -- hot and made as ordered -- and two drinks.
39. Think that next time you do an emoji Easy Order Tweetza, it will actually be easy, now that they have your information and you know the drill. As if you'll really order this way again (why pick a locked-in carryout order when you can have exactly what you want brought right to your door?).
And as if, after eating two large three-toppings, you'll be hungry for pizza again anytime soon.
Give me a pizza your mind, email:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood.
Style on 06/09/2015