Summer is in full humidity pod saturation and that means it's time to sit back and watch other people scheme, behave badly and knife one another in the back.
Of course, I refer to my solitary summertime guilty pleasure, Big Brother.
There. I said it. I feel better.
It's hard to believe, but it will be the 17th season for the CBS excursion in voyeurism. The 14 house guests move in at 7 p.m. Wednesday on CBS. A second episode follows at 7 p.m. Thursday.
Here's the weekly schedule after July 2: Sunday, 7-8 p.m.; Wednesday, 7-8 p.m.; Thursday, 8-9 p.m.
I have no idea why I'm so fascinated with this unscripted (but heavily edited) show. I'm not a big fan of "reality" TV in general. Hardly any of it is "real" anyway.
I don't really care for the faux romances of The Bachelor and Bachelorette. I long ago got bored with the cookie-cutter beachcombers of Survivor. I even struggle to muster enthusiasm for The Voice and American Idol -- too many lookalike singers, too many songs.
But I can sit fascinated for an entire hour of Big Brother, although I know some stuff about it.
I know that the producers cast the house guests hoping for drama. I know they guide and advise the contestants during the diary room sessions to provide for (in their minds) better "television." I know from when I used to watch the live Big Brother After Dark on premium cable that the house guests can be petty, childish, bigoted and foul-mouthed to the point you just want to slap 'em silly.
Yes, the edited version that we see on the network actively hides that the house guests frequently spew racist, anti-gay, obnoxious speech.
Still, there's something fascinating about following a group of young people living together in a "house" studded with dozens of cameras and microphones recording their every move, 24 hours a day.
Who will make a move to be the early leader and maker of alliances? What stupid name will they give themselves -- Bomb Squad, Chilltown, The Quack Pack?
Who will be this season's cute chick (as was adorable Arkansan Britney Haynes five years ago)? Who will be the narcissistic bodybuilder ladies man? Who will be the hick, the mean girl, the Bible thumper, the bikini babe, the flamboyant gay guy (as was Ariana Grande's half brother Frankie last season)?
There is one surprise this season. House guest Audrey Middleton will be the first transgender person to be on a network reality show. She cites the infamous Rachel Reilly as her "favorite house guest of all time."
That means one of the other house guests surely must be a, well, what do you call someone who considers transgenders freaks of nature and social pariahs?
There are no Arkansans in the house this season, but we do have a professional wrestler, retail manager, poker dealer, professional poker player, a couple of college students, a personal trainer, retail associate, supermarket cashier, interior designer, server, marketing coordinator and dentist.
As usual, the cast is mostly in their 20s (only four are in their early 30s) and white. Of the 14, one is black and one is Asian-American.
Another surprise each season is to see what the network has done with the Big Brother "house." In reality, the house and yard is a 100-by-140-by-24-foot complex in CBS Studio Stage 18 in Studio City, Calif.
The studio is designed to look like a large house with bathrooms, bedrooms, kitchen, living and dining rooms and a backyard with fake grass and a pool.
Host Julie Chen stands in a studio with a fake front door behind her.
This year, Big Brother production designer Scott Storey (no relation) is going for a shiny stainless-steel and beach feeling. Storey's main structural change was to extend a sky bridge out over the living area. That adds another place to huddle and scheme.
The complex backs up to the giant concrete drainage ditch that is the Los Angeles River and sometimes noisy neighbors interrupt outdoor activities.
If you want to zoom in with Google Earth for a bird's eye view, the studio's GPS coordinates are 34.144483, -118.389082.
• Another Period, 9:30 p.m. today, Comedy Central. Here's something silly. Think Real Housewives meets Downton Abbey.
The 10 episodes of Another Period will follow the lives of the obscenely rich Newport, R.I., Bellacourt family and their many servants at the turn of the 20th century. Comedian Natasha Leggero and Riki Lindhome (Garfunkel and Oates) head a familiar cast that includes Michael Ian Black, David Wain, Christina Hendricks, Jason Ritter, Thomas Lennon and Paget Brewster.
The historical satire is basically about narcissistic aristocrats and the downtrodden souls they employ. Warning: A little of this goes a long way. The premise quickly wears thin.
The TV Column appears Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Email:
mstorey@arkansasonline.com
Style on 06/23/2015